adsum | npc contact.1

Rokkun... ( ... ) That begs the question of whether you'll tell me what I want to know as I ask...

( he doesn't know if he's supposed to be comforted by this, actually, he finds himself inhaling slowly, his chest raising before going back down. to have rokkun look at him like this is different from the memory, the teenager looked at everyone once from the group, but his sights were set on something else. he's always been focused on one thing that motivates him, and komaeda has called that a type of hope he wanted to see as well, and that one the group witnessed was well...

... )

I want to watch you draw as we talk. ( there's no reason to look at him, especially when he has something to do. ) Make a silver and brown fox, and then we can enjoy the start of our time together.

[ Is this the start of their time together, as if the past semester didn't count? ]

I don't draw animals.

[ Can't. Even worse that Amami levels of can't. Even if this is the roadblock he has to get over in order to enjoy the start of their time together, it just isn't possible. ]

I've told you I plan on becoming an architect. I draw buildings, and this one is going to be the Monastery of John the Evangelist in Saransk.

( the start of coming back from BREAK. )

Where we hid in the bleachers of some place, right?

( fill in the blanks, because wasn't that created in the 2000s or something, i'm crying, literally insane. )

Are you giving up on me already? ...Draw a silver and brown fox shaped building.

( no. no more monastery, this time they're fox buildings, and it's what he wants!! )

[ STOP, LINEAR TIME IS HARD OKAY

maybe they were in the middle of construction in 1999 and they were hiding in the construction site or something, let him have this

Rokkun looks down at the perspective grid he's already painstakingly measured and drawn. He could do... a fox from behind... thank you perspective for being forgiving. Only he doesn't color his work either, so Komaeda's going to have to stretch his imagination to generous amounts. ]

...You know I won't give up on you.

[ Ugh, this is going to be such an ugly building. ]

In exchange, do something for me.

( crosses the theory that rokkun's a time jumper off everyone's list so that he can have the construction. )

I'm aware, and that's because you won't give up on hope.

( so it's like not giving up on komaeda.

the brown and silver fox that were there probably doesn't mean much to rokkun, especially when they found him after. then again. if that was his memory, everything that they went through... there has to be something related to him right? he doesn't like to draw animals, sure, why is his tulpa so complex and insane, who made him like this. )

Depends on what it is, what do you need?

( he cants his head to the side, leaning forward so that he can look at the base of his grid. they'll be foxes on that soon enough. )

[ I hope Komaeda likes lines, because that's all Rokkun's going to draw for the next two hours. Tilt his ruler, draw a line, shift and tilt the ruler, draw another line.

It's actually kind of nice, being able to turn his brain off and not look at Komaeda. ]

...Be with me on new year's eve.

( they have a whole lot to talk about so two hours of lines might be worth it, because he'll watch, and not know a damn thing aside from the grid. he's never actually sat down and watched him do this, nor has he seen him place """soccer""", and so he's quiet at first until he hears the other's request? )

That's in about three months... ( he blinks, a little confused, well it would make since when that's their frienniversary. he doesn't know what fox buildings has to do with that, but... ) What should I bring? A card game sounds exciting...

( and maybe a few friends, isn't that how people spend their new years? everyone likes uno, he's already making a mental list as the other draws. )

Yeah? Bring whatever you want.

[ He sounds a little distracted, but that's just what happens when you try to talk to somebody whose mind is elsewhere. A promise three months away means Komaeda has to live that long, and if he sounds excited and looking forward to it, that's even better. ]

I could bring a few people along so there's someone to play with...

( the people that rokkun tends to exchange conversation with, anyone that he likes... he knows the people he were with would probably come too. he can be distracted, that's fine, it's not like komaeda really sees him like that at all. instead, he'll reach out for the potpourri to open it, allowing the aroma to waft within the room. )

Do you have things in mind you want to do then if it happens? ( might as well ask him since he brought it up, but all of this for a fox building...? it doesn't add up, actually. ) ...Maybe it'll snow.

[ He goes "mmhmm" without knowing what he's "mmhmm"ing to, but it's fine, because it's not as if Rokkun has any obvious friends that would make the guest list. There's kohai he's surface friendly with, there's Akira who's nervous around him, there's... ... Komaeda. That's it.

Either way, the scent from the potpourri catches his attention and distracts him from the mental math he has to do for measurements, and he looks back up, trying to drag whatever Komaeda said last out of his short term memory. ]

Snow...? Maybe. I don't really care what we do. I just want you there when the new year turns.

( amami-kun, hinata-kun, sakasaki-kun, adams-san, some other people... fujioka-kun, maybe chiaki's gorinto. )

Rushing the time, I only have so much of it, as you know. ( rokkun knows that he's sickly, aware of what problems he has from his cancer to his dementia... he doesn't expect his life to be that long, but if he finds it nice to talk about... then they can talk about it. the new year, komaeda doesn't really talk about it, and he knows that on new years day is... hinata's birthday. how to work with that... )

Did you know smelling this means... you have to enjoy it for a hundred years? ...I like it.

( because maybe he too will be able to live that long, enjoy it for the respective time, and how he's exposed two people to it. a very important thing to komaeda. )

[ If Amami comes Rokkun's going to shove him off a cliff, please,
Hinata is fine, though. Hinata can live and that'll be Rokkun's birthday present to him. ]

It's nice. Did Natsume make it for you?

( THEY WON'T BE NEAR A CLIFF?!?!?!?!? where the fuck is rokkun taking them on new year's eve hello? komaeda isn't going hiking, i'm telling you that!! )

No, it's something from back home... I lived on an island for awhile, and this one is called Century Potpourri...

( it smells nice, especially as he shakes the bad mid conversation. )

You must hate it, but that's fine... it'll do its job.

( he sighs, looking off to the side a little dejected, as if he was hoping for more when it came to this gift. rokkun's too much of a jock, sure, komaeda shouldn't have asked for so much when it comes to him. ) ...Where should we meet at on New Year's Eve? Your cabin?

[ Rokkun kidnaps Amami specifically to a cliff so he can shove him off and make it back before midnight ]

I don't hate it! It's nice— I just wasn't sure what I'd do with it. If I go around smelling nice, that would draw attention. [ and he loathes being looked at, especially in a crowd

also, ngl, me playing out scenarios in my head went like
Rokkun: says "thank you", reaches out to take the potpourri
Komaeda: takes it back, "it's not for you"
and then Rokkun would be sad for the rest of this thread and sometimes when you're distrusting of everybody and everything you play scenarios like this in your head and decide the best course of action is to avoid it. ]

But anyways, no, it's too far and you'd never make it. I was thinking of staying at school.

( the way he does that and trots mud into wherever they're at for the night and the first thing komaeda asks him is if he's seen amami because it's almost hinata's birthday. )

...It's fine, you can throw it away.

( now komaeda will be the one sad because he loves this stuff, and here's rokkun not even wanting to mess with it because it'd make him smell nice. and idk, attract people??? maybe they'll think he's a good looking young man? you never know!!

but then again, i remember what komaeda did on rokkun's birthday, and i look away. )

...I would make it. ( he already made it once, despite dying a few times along the way. ) Do you lack that much faith in me?

[ Rokuro "I would never lie to you" Arata will lie to Komaeda's face and say he has not seen Amami.

Anyways, no, he's not going to throw it away, you can't take back gifts, if Komaeda doesn't have a good grip on it Rokkun is going to take it and set it on his lap and wrap one arm protectively around it, it's his. ]

It's not a lack of faith, it's just... It would be winter, and you don't like being outside. So I'll come to you; you don't have to go out of your way for me.

( ? what is his problem, he is so lucky komaeda can't smell ultimates or something, sensing them is different though... rokuro "gives komaeda more work" arata making komaeda search for a dead man smh...

he's surprised, eyes widening for a moment as the bag is taken, a few of the dried petals and herbs slip out, but not too much that komaeda can't lean down in his seat to pick them up. the rest will be in the protection of rokkun's arms, and he stares down at the piece between his middle and index. he rubs his fingers against it slowly, and he hums in thought. )

It'd be nice, to be in a warm home during the winter... watching the snow outside while holding someone in your arms...

( well, rokkun was dead in his arms at the time, and that wasn't nice, but he can change how the story goes or something. people spend time with their loved ones on the new years, right? ...komaeda excluded. )

[ Is that what people do? He'd be asking the wrong person. ]

...Maybe next year. I'll take you home and introduce you to my family.

[ That's what he wanted, wasn't it? Rokkun didn't miss the way it kept being brought up. ]

I met them.

( ...straightforward enough, not the way he'd like to go about it...

but rokkun said he wouldn't lie, so how he reacts would be honest feelings, wouldn't it? )

So you don't have to take me there, I don't... want to ruin things for you.

...No you haven't.

[ Not that Rokkun remembers, and he's inclined to trust his memory more than Komaeda and his dementia. ]

You wouldn't ruin things, don't say that. I want you there. I bet my grandparents would like you.

Are you calling me a liar?

( wish komaeda just spoke in cryptics, but rokkun got him out here being straight forward like this shouldn't be a big deal. )

The past is the past... it can't be changed, but I'd rather not put you in the position that I did.

( actually, that position is because of what rokkun did himself, but everything after that was because of komaeda's meddlesome touches.

because they're all close to dying? and komaeda's hair white? thanks rokkun... )

I'm not. I'm just saying you're wrong.

[ And that's different, somehow. ]

What are you even talking about... When did this happen? Was I even there?

I'm wrong, now...

( he's honest, but it doesn't mean he's always right, but this time... how would he know. it was just a memory, one he doesn't remember... or did he block it out? a memory on a floor that was filled with thousands of gorintos... )

Why would you want to listen to a wrong man's ramblings if I'm so wrong?

( ... )

Because you believe you're right. And that's more important to me.

[ Komaeda being wrong is a fact that won't change. But still... it's not every day that Rokkun gets to hear him talking about the past— about their past— that he was always claiming he doesn't remember or never happened. Maybe it's simple self-indulgence, wanting to hear Komaeda talk about them. ]

( believe? something like that, he knows.

yet, he's going to get out of his chair, the dried herb between his fingers falls onto the floor as he walks past rokkun, and over to the door of the art room. he grips the handle, like he's ready to turn it, and leave, but instead he peers outside, looking both left and right before bringing himself back in, and closing the door all the way. if he could lock it, he would. )

You're being hypocritical, Rokkun...

( as if komaeda doesn't live like that, but he turns back around, looking towards him as he leans his back against the door. )

Are you sure you want to have this conversation with me? ... You might look at me differently.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject