adsum | npc contact.1

[ It doesn't have to be, but it's going to be. Unlike a certain younger sibling, Rokkun doesn't flinch when he's touched, and he doesn't move either. Stubborn, desperate, messy, whatever Komeada thought of him. ]

I'll finish after you talk to me. My deadline isn't until New Year's Eve.

( he doesn't flinch, huh? nor does he fall over, he just stands there looking at him, and komaeda's fingers lift — the brush gently against the male's neck scar, and he retracts his hand. )

...

( instead, he focuses on grabbing rokkun's left hand, his thumb brushing against the band trying to take a look at his wrist.

"what are you even talking about... when did this happen? was I even there?" )

I'm talking about you. ...It was the 28th, when we came back. ( he takes a breath ) ...Yes, you have a habit of focusing on one thing, and ignoring everything else.

[ He doesn't react to the touch— not until it trails against his neck and he swallows hard, trying not to think about the last time he let Komaeda do this. The last time he let Komaeda take off his wristband, the last time Rokkun had let him...

This time, he pulls his hand away. This time, Komaeda's fingers don't come back wet and bloody. Instead, they're being held in Rokkun's like he's telling him to stay here, look at him. ]

And you have a habit of starting in the middle of things, then veering wildly off course. Start from the beginning.

( being denied to check his tallies isn't a first, and this time he's being kept in place from looking. his hand still hurts down to his own wrist, a sensitive, but he he tries to slip his hand out from the other's grasp if he allows him. komaeda has to touch things he shouldn't, it's like a person who can't stay in once place without moving. )

It was the first time the fourth floor... became available to us, Sakasaki-kun, Adams-san, and Hinata-kun were there with me.

( it's a group, alright, but they're who komaeda was with, and he stares in the other's eyes to look for a reaction. rokkun did ask if they solved any mysteries, and he himself is one of the many. )

The whole world was voided of anything meaningful, covered in darkness, and all we could hear was our own heartbeats, a hissing in our head... and follow a light that illuminated our path. ( not how he has to retell the story, how dare rokkun do this when komaeda has dementia. ) Can you guess what it was?

[ Rokkun doesn't let him take his hand back, thinking of it as him running away and not that he possibly has a broken finger, but he keeps his grip light— until Komaeda talks about darkness, a void of nothing but thudding in your chest and white noise in your head, and the eventual lights floating just out of grasp... ]

...no. What was it?

[ This is Komaeda's story, not his. ]

( he smiles gently, trying to recall the events, what was important and what wasn't, but he should be honest while telling him. he wants to use his hands to explain the story, but with it being held like so... he tries not to move it so much. )

At the moment, we called it our north star, so we followed it through the darkness... It took a long time until we found more, it was like stars we could all wish on...

( in a way, he's glad they weren't shooting stars given his background. with many of them, he continues: )

...Then they flew close to us, almost like moths to a flame... and we became drowsy... ( it must sound insane, but rokkun's insaner so it's okay. ) Sounds like something out of a fairy tale book, doesn't it? Though, most of those have happy endings... Two of us decided to crush them, one by one...

[ It does sound insane and Komaeda is more insane than he is so this is just par for the course... But he closes his eyes at the decision to crush the lights, and when he opens them again he's staring at the floor.

It sounds like something out of a dream, he wants to say, but doing so would feel like invalidating Komaeda's tale and he'd rather suffer listening to nonsense to the end than to have Komaeda no talk at all. ]

...and you took their light... or something like that?

You're pretty smart... that's what we did, one after the other. It's like it woke us up... does anything like that feel familiar to you?

( he asks, watching the way rokkun closes his eyes, how he tries to immerse himself in the story, and all komaeda can think of is that he's reading a book to a child. rokkun has his moments of innocence when he isn't insane, and he looks calm that he doesn't seem the type to act without thinking. he doesn't appear desperate, or messy, he seems like he just wants to understand. )

If not... Sakasaki-kun and I argued for a little but, I guess he didn't like when I slapped him and Hinata-kun's rear, but it was to wake them up.,,

( he sighs... he had good intentions, maybe to also snipe a few of those lights along the way. ) Adams-san scolded us for our actions, but we did learn there were about millions of those lights in the darkness.

[ He can see everything as described but then Komaeda is slapping people's asses and Rokkun snaps out of the immersion, looking up at Komaeda like he wants to ask, and then closes his mouth because he knows better to. ]

Like a starry sky... Did you think it was pretty? Or did it still feel lonely?

[ Or maybe that's a stupid question, when Komaeda was there with three others. ]

( don't look at him, he had a feeling rokkun would look at him for it — that's why he said it, sometimes it's funny to see him react to things that don't matter. )

...I didn't think much of looks, I was too interested in killing them. ...It was neither, it became suffocating. It was cold, yet it's like the darkness wanted to swallow us up... devour us whole, gold eyes watched as we descended further and further.

( he sighs, maybe that was meant to be loneliness. what was pretty about a world that started to distort, become nothing for them to attach themselves to. )

The lights disappeared, and we did too.

[ "Too interested in killing them" god, okay,

Rokkun stares at him, half listening, more thinking. ]

( because he's quiet, komaeda thinks that rokkun is actually bored of his storytelling — how is he to know if not told to go on? )

Should I shut up and let you return back to your monastery?

( looks past his shoulder again at the grid of lines, looks back to rokkun. )

Huh?

[ He blinks and refocuses his eyes on Komaeda's like he was paying attention this entire time. ]

No, keep going.

What's my incentive to keep going?

( he felt like he was being ignored, and that he was boring him!

should he keep going? when the brown and silver fox buildings need him? )

[ Why is Komaeda so high maintenance ]

Name something you want from me.

[ Besides foxes, he can't do foxes ]

( he's insane, nothing low maint about that. )

What can you offer me that you've given no one else?

( maybe he should say something like don't try and kill amami. )

[ Wish I could say a rock, but I can't. ]

I'll let you keep the sketch of the fox buildings.

[ Can't have given somebody else something that hasn't existed until now, taps temple ]

( komaeda has one, its fine. )

You've given plenty of people a sketch of yours, I guess you have nothing.

( if komaeda waters it down to a mere drawing, that's nothing one of a kind, taps temple. )

[ why be satisfied with one rock, when you can have twenty seven ]

No I haven't. I don't even let people see them most of the time.

( he has a wishing rock? and his lucky rocks, and he has enough. he's about to buy out all the dead brother rocks. )

A forest.

You want me to give you a forest.

Around dawn...There was river off to the right, and a cairn to the left that gave us direction... Are you aware of what it represents?

( did he ask for a forest? keep up, rokkun. )

[ He was trying hard to think of how he can get his hands on a plot of land in the forest next to a river, he would have done it. ]

Cairns are meant to guide. But for the person that put them there, it's a mark of where they've been. A request to follow.

( he really wants to live by himself... how poetic. )

Sakasaki-kun said something roughly around the same, and that they were also like gravesites... like the gorintos here, but larger.

( he hums, everything rokkun says he chews on it like a question posed to him. if everything that happened there belongs to him, then what he says has to mean something. answers from the subconscious? whatever it is, they were markers in a way.

komaeda shifts to the left, moving so that he isn't stuck between the door, rokkun and the potpourri he holds. free, he walks off to one side of the art room, looking around. )

What do you think? If it was meant for us to follow... did they want to share their journey?

[ Rokkun doesn't follow him this time— not with his feet, anyways, though his eyes to follow.

What does he think... A lot of things, right now, but if he had to answer that question, ]

No. In this case, they're footprints.

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