adsum | npc contact.1

[ Bread isn't proper counseling food unless it's crunchy and bite-sized. The counselor turns around on his desk, swinging his legs over from where they hang on the edge to rest his feet on the arms of the desk chair Komaeda's sitting in. He feels the same feeling that he would in the auditorium during an assembly, where some inexplicable force binds him to the seat and he can't move a muscle, although he can find that he can still talk and breathe. ]

Isn't it? My hope is my own to acquire, and my students... I'm not supposed to interfere. This year will be tough, so I hope the third years all do their best.

( this is evil, but it's fine, komaeda can relax, it's no different than being tied up, and since he's used to how the auditorium works — he remains still, breathing slow as he thinks about it. thinking how i have to use the same icon because he can't move and i keep giggling. )

You're not supposed to, but are you saying that you can... if it's a means to acquiring your hope?

( he doesn't understand not doing anything, considering komaeda's always on the move, he can't sit still, the cells in his brain move around too much in search for answers. they'll be lost upon him as time goes on, but that's normally his role, to assist and watch those act accordingly. )

I'm a first year, so it shouldn't matter... but why worry for the third years, are you afraid they'll fail you...?

[ He can if he wants, and he does what he wants, but he can't say it, it would be unprofessional. ]

I worry, but I'm not afraid. I want to see them all graduate... I want to see what they will do for the sake of graduation.

...If you could help them, how would you?

( not afraid, but he worries, anyone would be that way, even komaeda's that way for the hope around him. hence why he had to take the first step, but unlike the counselor, he doesn't limit himself to one room... )

Writing it down works too... if you want something that can be seen...

( he sighs, a little bored by the thought of them being unable to do anything, and knowing he shouldn't be near any of them. ) If it's for their hope... I'll see it through.

The words that pass between us are real enough without the need for something in writing. And that's what I do: talk with them, understand them, help them understand themselves. Therapy is all about helping yourself; nobody can say I have undue influence.

[ In this singular little room of his, he takes students in... makes them cry sometimes... He like to think he makes them better. ]

...You're doing everything you can already, aren't you? Isn't that enough? You don't need to take on my wishes for hope as well.

I don't care if anyone doesn't understand me, because it's the same as always... our beliefs will differ, so there's no need trying.

( he says this matter-of-factly, almost like he's tired of people trying to do that, because in the end they're only disappointed with his methods. komaeda's too used to the idea of people around him giving up, and that makes it easier for him to move on. especially with everything that's happened so far, there's no need to think about that, rather he should focus on what's important. )

That hope that they're striving for hasn't been obtained yet... So it's never enough until they reach it, stepping stones like us are needed for them to be successful... it's truly an honor... giving yourself to them, it shows that you're willing to put everything on the line for what's right.

Understanding doesn't necessarily mean agreeing. I try to understand every person who walks through my doors, but whether or not my own beliefs align doesn't factor. This space is about you, after all.

[ A general you, but still... you. Komaeda's a tricky one; he ties his hopes with others' but he sets himself apart at the same time.

The counselor leans back a little more, looking at Komaeda closely. ]

The hope they're striving for... what do you see it as, currently? Saving everybody in this school, regardless of whether they deserve it? Or is it graduation... or merely survival? For some, it seems that's all the hope they have.

( if he could place a hand to his chest, he would, because there's something about a "you," that doesn't sit right with him. it's about the love he has for hope, how much he'd do anything for it — his dreams, his wants, things like that doesn't matter when he has to focus on the others that need his assistance. he's not even a person, he's trash they can get rid of at any time, there's no amount of worth to his life. good luck, bad luck, a mediocre, that's all he has, nothing meaningful to the world of hope like the symbols around him. )

...At the start, they seemed confused, it was pathetic, and I couldn't exist seeing them that way.

( lost and confused, not sure of what to do, not even trusting one another — people didn't even speak, but crossed paths all because they were worried about who brought them here, and also some who were adjusting, accepting this position. )

To allow their hope to settle is... a disgusting thing to see, especially when it should radiate around them, and light a path for those who need it. Do you know what hope is... it's absolute good, it's where dreams ( it could be the position rokkun is in of how much he dreams for graduation, strives for that ), a boundless justice ( maybe it's like saihara's search for the truth ), and bliss ( perhaps the state of stephanie's world where the worst thing that happens is an argument... who knows, ymmv. ) all come together, but that sounds like the stuff of fantasies...

( but he doesn't expect the counselor to understand, a few people tend to have trouble, but this is where he has complete faith in some of the ultimates... some. )

I'll help them achieve that hope through any means, but when you list out such simple ones, it sounds... boring, because once they achieve it... that's that. The thing about hope is that it's forever, and doesn't just end... graduation's a one time thing, but influence of hope is meant for everyone to bask in.

( ... ) Can I get up now.

I've been watching them. It would have been a boring school year if they haven't come together in such a way... I'm grateful for what transpired as well.

[ Simple, Komaeda calls those hopes, but when they're impossible to achieve? it might as well be forever. Either way, the counselor pops another rice cracker in his mouth, crunching on it as he lifts his feet off the arms of the chair so he can sit cross legged on the desk instead, causing the chair to spin slightly and with that little bit of movement Komaeda will find that he's able to move and get up. ]

What of the little hopes? Once achieved, another blossoms in its place. Survival. Graduation. Saving everybody in the process. Hope may not be universal, but it is eternal.

You agree that what happened helped them, they've really graduated from what they used to be... If you say that to anyone else, they'll start to worry where your intentions are. Sadly, they don't understand people die every day...

( her death wasn't even a death, let's call it a sacrifice to build up everyone. )

Some deaths were uneeded from how selfish it was, but... I believe in them to overcome. ( he moves, and komaeda can move, and he sighs as he finally stands up to stretch. ) What are you...? This school has unusual oddities, and you must be one of the many mysteries.

( he's not answering because he has his own questions, but don't worry, it's hope, and komaeda always comes back to that. the little hopes... )

[ The little hopes are his favorites; the large ones never get realized, after all, so he takes what he can get, especially when what he gets is what people bring in with them through these doors. ]

What am I? I am the counselor.

[ That's all he has to say about that. If figuring out what he is is something that drives people, who is he to spoil the answer? ]

What if I don't see you as a counselor, so let's take that away, shall we?

( normal counselors don't do what he did, to be honest, and it's not like komaeda is living right now to find out what he truly is. he's only here for hope, and hope alone. )

You're more than that, "the counselor," if I can accept myself as a stepping stone, then you can do the same.

( a piece of the world that others walk over to further their path, something like that. )

Being a stepping stone is inherent in the nature of a counselor. A mirror, a light... I am meant to be used, for as much and how long as the other person wishes to use me.

[ He likes to think of himself like... a garden path. A series of stepping stones. ]

You have never spoken to another counselor, have you?

So what... does that make me a counselor too? I think such a title is too... professional for trash like me.

( a garden path is actually pretty, especially with the surroundings, and how each step leads a person into a beautiful location filled with all sorts of flowers, tended to beautifully. )

Hmmm... I'm used to being suspended for an unforeseeable amount of time, like when I bombed the last school I attended.

( so a counselor to him is just... not really a thing he needs, well, his parents never told him he needed to see one. ) You're not *just* a counselor... you knew the moment that girl sacrificed herself, and you've been biding your time for me to appear... that's not a trait they usually have.

No, being a counselor requires understanding.

[ Komaeda doesn't even try, so... no... That professional title will have to remain with the counselor. ]

Have you spoken to other counselors? Perhaps omniscience is a trait counselors do usually have, and you were unaware.

I understand them perfectly, I understand that they don't understand the extent of their hope, and that they need help.

( he doesn't understand feelings! and a few other things, but that's because he hasn't been given the chance to, so he goes his life making up what others need around him by his own rules. the sad part is that he can't help them all the time, he can only hold their hand for a moment... or he gets irritated with carrying through the entirety. )

Not that I remember. ( easy excuse, he has dementia anyway, but can he fiddle with the desk drawers, what's in there? )

If they did, you could have just said so, but you didn't... so that makes you special compared to them, what else makes you different?

[ That's not understanding at all... ]

Every person is uniquely different, Komaeda. So are you.

I'm not a person.

( no one are people, they're either hope, or they're stepping stones. )

...Pick out the differences among five students, I want to see what you see, open my eyes to it.

( there he goes to crouch on the floor looking for something. what? nothing, just to see what's under the desk you know... normal things. )

[ Oh I forgot to respond to the desk question, no Komaeda can't open it, it's like the door that won't open unless the counselor invites the person in or the chair that won't move until he moves his feet. Underneath the desk... is maybe a stray sunflower seed shell, a bent staple, blood stains around the bottom of one of the desk legs that wasn't scrubbed out properly... normal things. ]

Give me five students, tell me what you see first, and I'll indulge you as best I can without breaking confidentiality.

Alright, one by one... the first one we can speak on is...

( aw sad, not his control... i respect it. he'll flick the sunflower seeds, the staple, but he'll run his fingers across the blood curiously. )

Kawaii-san's a pretty interesting piece as a stepping stone... I see how those deaths led to the beginning of a minuscule hope inside her... I'm curious how it'll grow, and who has to tend to it for the time being.

( he's going to lay on the floor because no one is stopping him, but as long as the counselor can hear him, it's fine. he sighs, thinking: )

They're the best thing that could have happened.

[ The blood is blood, it looks like it's been there a while, soaked into the grains of the wood. ]

Is she not tending to her own hope?

[ What a high maintenance hope. At least cultivate it yourself ]

Do you think she can, tell me your thoughts on her... What do you see?

( can he pull out his switchblade and try to pull up the wood? sometimes people eat snacks, and other people try and damage property. )

You should know who she is, you know everyone.

( she'll pick her own weeds :/ she's a strong girl. )

[ He can pull out that switchblade but the counselor's going to reach down and confiscate this. Whose switchblade is this? Is this the one he picked up from Kouji's corpse? There are so many knives floating around it's hard to keep track of. ]

I know who she is. I was asked if I would be a grief counselor for her. She doesn't need me.

( STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP, omg i'm crying, first the gun, now his switchblade. he hasn't even hurt anyone with it... his only line of defense.

and it is the one he got from kouji's corpse, he kept it safe! )

...You must be bad with girls, there's a lot you could say about her.

( it doesn't take long for komaeda to get off the floor, almost like he's waiting for the switchblade back so he can return to what he was doing. )

As a stepping stone, you have to be able to do something for their hope... because if not, what good are you?

[ Oh that reminds me I need to do bonuses so Dito can have his spear back to stab people with

The switchblade goes inside his pants pocket. ]

No good, unless the other person seeks me out. A person must want to be helped, in order to gain anything from counseling. I am a stepping stone, not a magic carpet; I will not sweep people off their feet.

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