adsum | npc contact.1

[ The counselor's hand slips inside his pants at the same time Komaeda's does, but the counselor is the one who finds the grip and flicks the blade open. Here, he's helping. ]

They are the people you think of first. How are they important to you?

( wow. hm... good with his hands, i see. he wins! his eyes are trained on the blade, slowly shifting left and right if the counselor moves it. he removes his hand from his pockets though, taking a few steps back as he patiently waits.

speaking of importance, he thinks about it... some are more important than others, but he doesn't know how to talk about feelings. rather... )

Their hope, it's all important to me... I want to see where it goes.

( also because they're the set of people that stood out. )

[ His knife now. As soon as Komaeda backs off, the counselor goes back to snacking on his crackers like he hadn't just been this close to stabbing a student in the hand. ]

I see. Do your best to help them, Komaeda. Amami faring better than the rest, who have quite the targets on their backs.

Is it because Amami-kun's an Ultimate? Saihara-kun is as well...

( he knows that rokkun can be... like that, as well as rika can be... like that... and natsume can also be... like that... but, maybe he means how out of the way that ultimate has been compared to others. )

What makes them different that he's faring better? I can understand that everyone would want to be in an Ultimate's grace, though...

He keeps his cards close. The others are impressionable. Look how much you've affected them already.

[ I originally mistyped infected and you know that's true too ]

( forget the switchblade, counselor has his entire attention. )

...In what ways have I affected them, what do you see?

( one keeps his cards close, the other impressionable. komaeda's watched the people around him, that's why he did what he had to do... but counselor is a third party, his eyes watched komaeda and everyone else. so what does he see?

you're right, komaeda a disease. )

[ ...he's interested. Even if he claims to not understand or know how to navigate relationships with people, he's invested anyways and that's what matters. ]

I see people who keep you in their thoughts. Your actions, your words, your hope... Even if somebody does not understand or agree, the thought is planted there: you act as a benchmark, a guide, no matter whether people gravitate towards or away. Some are stronger for it, some are weaker. You have no choice but to keep being you, and you will be made to linger long after you are gone.

( a long time ago, upon his death, he said he wanted to be their foundation's hope, he wanted to be praised, to have his words carried on for everything he did. erect a bronze statue, respect him, call him ultimate hope — to linger after, he would have to be that, but he has no hope inside of him, nothing noteworthy anyway. hope is a very serious issue with him, even as his heart skips a beat at the thought to think he's doing his job properly as a stepping stone, he taps his chin. )

I want to be used by specific people to encourage the hopes of others, even after all my work... some won't budge.

( he sighs, dejected at the thought, the things they could make him do, what he'd do... kill, die, it's endless. )

Whose hope have I assisted with the longest?

( considering how their schools years are stretched, and how komaeda met some of these people for the first time... but there's his dementia, so memories are a loss for him to go by. )

[ He wanted a bronze statue???? why am i losing my mind over this ]

Resistance is also part of keeping you in mind. Don't lose heart over that.

[ The harder they push back, the greater his effect. The ones he should watch out for are the ones that go "uh huh, okay" aka Minato, probably. ]

As for the longest... It would be the people who've known you the longest, or believe they do. Impact doesn't need to be all at once. Time has its effect as well.

( yes HE'S SO FUCKING STUPID?? i think it was bronze, i'm crying. he's a simple man who wanted simple things. i went to go rewatch the scene and teared up again, sighs. )

I won't... ( his brows knit together, he would NEVER give up on being used. ) it's why I keep working, because to help their hope... to see them prevail. I'd be disappointed if they couldn't do what's important...

( minato's hope is probably very shiny, komaeda will be working on that one with elizabeth's approval of course. )

Believe they do? ( siiiiiiighs, crossing his arms. ) Since it's about me, you can say who... who believes they've known me the longest.

( counselor should know??? he knows everything??? )

[ Komaeda: I am nothing, I am trash
also Komaeda: erect a bronze statue of me when I die
??? ]

Since it involves others, I cannot name names. You know who I'm talking about. I don't need to spell it out for you.

( sometimes k wording yourself really change the perspective and you wanna be god, and have a statue. he probably still feels that way, lbr. )

You don't, but you can confirm that nothing he knows about me is me... ( he knew that, and yet, this is unlucky. ) ...where did his obsession come from?

( if the komaeda in his head is just his belief, how did komaeda even affect him like a disease. )

One's belief is their reality, and memory... is a very fragile thing.

[ Malleable. Delicious. ]

The origin shouldn't matter to you, when you have the present and future to contend with.

So he's an idiot in the end...

( and that hope of his is fake... the way i was like is counselor a dream-eating baku, yes that one vocaloid song came to mind... and then i realized it's memories.

he sighs, how boring. )

It doesn't, but if it involves me, you're allowed to say, right?

Yes he is.

[ Won't deny that. ]

He isn't somebody you need to waste your efforts on. He will make it to graduation on his own merit, but whether or not he graduates... we'll see.

( his brain is kind of sizzling right now, give him a moment.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ok hope again. )

As long as there's hope, I have to take part... I love it that much.

( he pauses, finding his place back on the desk to sit. even if rokkun's hope is fake, it's not like komaeda has ever loved real hope, he fell for the one manmade. )

If you don't want me to waste my time, you must not waste your own on him... is that it?

[ DW inbox couldn't handle Komaeda's moment ]

That's right. He doesn't need me nor you. From the start, he had been set on walking his path alone.

( IM LAUGHING SO HARD HELPPPP it's just his selective dementia at work that's all!! )

...

( he hears him, his hands settling in his lap as he allows his thoughts to wander. forget about him, not waste his time on him, and just let him go so he can walk his path alone. komaeda has never done as other people told him, acting on his own decisions until he comes to it alone, but this would be the perfect opportunity to keep him out of any messes. )

...If he was to walk his path alone, did I intervene?

( did he play god? )

People intervene in every person they cross paths with, just by existing.

[ you're not god, you're not special, etc ]

That's how living works.

( he's cute as god... give him a chance. )

...And dying.

( because he feels like dying every day, actually, but he can't even give that. is he disappointed in this discussion or maybe, he's just tired because it was the obvious in the end? with a sigh, he gently traces his tallies through his sleeve as he looks at the counselor. )

I want us to do something for them anyway, you want to see what they have to offer... don't you? Some can handle it, but a few others... are being overwatered.

( have to be careful tending to those. )

Sometimes dying has a greater impact than living... But unlike you, I won't be dying anytime soon. I can afford to have patience and restraint.

[ maybe if Komaeda weren't terminal he'd have some chill? ]

I'm aware.

( dying having a great impact, that's his middle name, next to hypocrite. )

Saying it like that... am I dying soon, if I do... I want my death to mean something towards their hope.

( that said, mr. i won't be dying anytime soon, komaeda's going to give his lazy, half attention. ) How long have you been alive?

A while.

[ Many years! He's a real adult, thanks. ]

( closes my eyes opens my eyes i see where rokkun gets the awhile from, crying. )

When's your birthday, I should get to understand my counselor... as you could tell, I never had one before.

( how will he feel comfortable with these gaps between them?? and what do you mean a real adult? komaeda adult too... kind of!! )

You're edging the line to personal territory, Komaeda.

[ A birthday's not going to help anybody understand him, not unless Komaeda's into astrology all of a sudden. ]

Understanding me is unnecessary. I am here to help students understand themselves. A mirror, nothing more.

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