npc contact.1

[adsum]

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[closewithnewintown]

... Are... [sigh] Look, I really don't wanna make you talk about this. To remind you of this. But, I just... I need to know this one thing: The people that did it. Were they not Hyde and Moriarty?

[adsum]

[ ...

There's a pause before he lifts his head from his arms, just enough to peek up at Stephanie and give her an unsure look. Were they? There was too much dirt. It was dark. There were bugs. He couldn't see, couldn't tell. ]

[closewithnewintown]

The... memory, I guess. It's supposed to be Hyde's, but it doesn't make any sense. It couldn't have happened the way it happened under the rules we live by now, so it had to be...

[before. the time she can't remember. the time she will continue to insist isn't real.]

... How long ago did you come back?

[adsum]

[ He shakes his head, chin rubbing against his arm. Letting go of his knees a little, he sort of gestures with his hands, opening them from one knee to the next. Something between "two knee lengths" and "a long time" ]

[closewithnewintown]

... Longer than a kid should even be in high school?

[sigh] We don't remember farther back than a few months. None of us do. Nothing... solid. And that's... Something had to happen, right? Just to our group. If we were here, something made us all forget.

... Did you ever know me? Before that day in the cooking club room?

[adsum]

[ He hates high school. Kids should be in high school zero years.

He listens and doesn't comment, naturally, but at knowing her... he nods, slow, because sort of. He knew her name— he knows people's names. But did he know her? anything substantial about her? no. ]

[closewithnewintown]

I'm not gonna like when I learn how long away from home I've really been, am I.

[because there's only so long she deny what seems inevitable. not that she'd tell anyone else that.]

... Are you gonna be okay?

[adsum]

[ The correct answer is supposed to be yes, he knows it, but it's still hard to believe it, or want it, or know what okay even feels like.

But it's the right answer, so he nods, pulling the paper a little away from his legs so he can stare at the drawing. Is this being okay? ]

[closewithnewintown]

... It's okay to not be. [pause] I'm not sure when I'll be okay again, and I haven't even been through half the stuff you have... Admitting it is the first step there, though. That's what I've always been told.

[adsum]

[ Oh, that's what— he thinks for a moment how to mime this, but then realizes he doesn't have to, because he still has that scrap of paper and the pen: ]

thats what counselor said

[closewithnewintown]

[...

socks him in the arm. gently, but, still. socks him one.]

Don't say that! He's creepy; I don't wanna sound like him...

[adsum]

[ Ouch...

He frowns a little, like Stephanie had just said that about his sister or something. ]

[closewithnewintown]

You've been talking to him for ages now! How do you not think he's super creepy?

[she's not projecting because the words he says be sounding kinda familiar and she Doesn't Care For That Shit At All.]

[adsum]

[ He's a little creepy, but that doesn't mean he's not... ]

helping

[ is the word Hiro writes and holds up to her ]

[closewithnewintown]

[she stares at the word for a second, brows knit together in thought.]

... Does it really help?

[adsum]

[ He comes out of that room every day in tears, feeling miserable. But it's supposed to help. It's a process... or something.

He nods. ]

[closewithnewintown]

[she frowns.

well, she knows what her definition of helping would be. only one way to find out.]

If you had the choice, right now... To take back what you did, or do it again... Which one would you pick?

[adsum]

[ It's with some hesitation, and he does look uneasy, but Hiro eventually holds up two fingers.

He would kill Kouji all over again, as many times as he had to. ]

[closewithnewintown]

[jerry.jpg]

Then it hasn't helped at all! That is... the opposite of helping!

[adsum]

[ Oh... That's right. You're supposed to get counseling to learn regret enough to not murder again. He does feel that— regret, remorse, guilt, all of that. He hated doing it. He hates having to live with doing it. He hates himself for doing it.

But that doesn't change the fact that Kouji Seki must die. ]

[closewithnewintown]

... What'd he even do?

[because - and this is very important - she will absolutely be down for the murder if the answer to this is bad enough for her specifically.]

[adsum]

[ He does some vague hand motion.

Kouji did stuff. You know. Crimes. ]

[closewithnewintown]

[she sighs, frustrated.]

Is that what life means to everybody here? To just take it over... [waves hand vaguely]

[adsum]

[ The vague hand waves mean a lot to him. Enough that he can't talk about it, even if he could. He passes his piece of paper over to Stephanie, "helping" facing forward, and point at the "sorry" on her picture. It's what he told her before all of this— before Kouji, even— back when Aiko died and he gave her knife back. No explanation; just a sorry. There's no reason for Stephanie to accept a plain sorry now, anymore. ]

[closewithnewintown]

... I'm not the one you need to give apologies to. [but, you probably won't apologize to a person you don't feel sorry about.] But, as much as it's worth... I do forgive you. And I'm really glad you're my friend.