adsum | npc contact.1

( it's been a little eventful for the past week between an argument and stuff that happens at a pool, and because of all that... he thought to pay someone a visit. now if he met his quota with checking in on shopkeep-kun then fine, praise him, if he hasn't... shopkeep-kun is allowed to be upset and whiny at him. arata's favorite emotions it seems, anyway, komaeda's going to barge his way into store, and in his other hand is a bag of... something soft, it's hard to tell what it is since it's been removed from its box. )

Kamo-kun!

( it comes off the tip of his tongue, nothing simple as "p-kun", but it feels a little affectionate, too affectionate, and so komaeda hums in thought. it's not too far off, the name that he heard within the memory — kogamo. the ultimate may only have that, and the eyes of a child who believed he could... bring his sibling back from the dead just by a simple act of holding their hand; it does weigh on him. )

P-kun! P-kun! I've been pretty helpful, so I decided to take a break and let everyone else suffer.

( where is p-kun in the shop! where! )

[ yea he was supposed to change his mind and go "actually kamo-kun's art is so amazing I'm going to keep it for myself" or something ]

I know many who are headstrong and would feel the same. But you recognize you are not alone. Do you feel responsible, still?

[ They're in front of the counter, out of their seat and halfway to the door when Komaeda enters, blinking in surprise because this isn't the big brother they were expecting to see. Their voices don't even sound similar...

... ]

Oh. It's you.

[ They turn around and goes to sit back down behind the counter. ]

...I see.

[ He doesn't really, but figures it's an easy way to move on from the conversation. Which he's kind of surprised he's having with Amami, figuring he'd have plenty of friends in his own class to hang out with— or maybe not, if he's never there.

... ]

Did you do alright on finals? The second semester is graded a whole lot stricter, especially for the third years.

...

( his lips purse into a straight line, thoughtful, and he sighs afterwards like he's made a decision. )

Should I leave? I'm not the most wanted student out the group of my peers.

( even as he says that, he'll place what he brought on top of the table which inside seems to be a few slices of jalapeno cheese bread, dragon fruit bread... other various bread, but there's only one of each. )

-—No! You can't leave! You just got here!

[ With what looks like the week's rations, which npc-kun eyes as they get up and passes Komaeda to close the door as if he can't just open it himself to leave. What is this, though... One slice of each? Sliced bread dries out quickly, so maybe this is the day's rations. ]

Now, now... you broke my heart, you didn't even hug me when I came... You don't look at me with that same spark like before...

( what was all their hope talk for? probably nothing. he thinks as he pulls out a lil plastic bag with one reddish colored bread inside, like a small sandwich with a sort of cream tucked between them. it's like a package like this so they can go for many days... right. they're fine. )

It really is noticeable... you hate me... just like the rest of them. I'm just a thought that's easily casted away.

( he's fiddling with the packet, reading the ingredients because his actions don't match his voice — like he's doing this to get a rise out of the other, despite not really needing it. or maybe he does, who knows, komaeda is full of mysteries depending on what attention he wants or not. )

I don't! You're not! Noooo...

[ Doorstop kicked aside and door firmly shut, they whip around and throws their arms around Komaeda from behind, face pressed against the side of his ribs to see what bread it is. Packaged slices of bread... The future is amazing. ]

I'm going to stay just like this until your heart fixes itself.

[ If he lets go, they're both going to split their heads open. His right arm bears the brunt of the weight leaning and pulling himself up by the handrail, so his left, hanging uselessly at his side, goes to rest over Komaeda's hands linked in front of his stomach. ]

Don't let go.

[ The flight of stairs is both excruciatingly slow and all too brief at the same time, but he finds himself on the landing just in front of the door to the roof. At the risk of falling back, he removes his hand from the handrail instead of letting go of Komaeda's hands, and pushes open the door.

It's still bright out, the sky taking on dusty blues. ]

You only did this because I noticed it! I really am... the worst... oh woe is meee...

( he starts to open the little bag... do they not have packaged stuff in 1999, i swear we had that, i was born in 1994... okay, whatever the fucking bread be in, it's in it!! he takes a few steps forward like he's trying to shake the other off, but no, it's to drag them around actually and put them in a position where he can move his arms. )

I actually have no heart. ( ... ) I poisoned it a long time ago, so it's not as functional...

( even his character song says so. with it open, he'll break off a piece, and hold it out at his side where the other's head is.

say aaaaah. )

[ for now

The frown deepens on her face when he touches her shoulders, but she doesn't pull away, instead glaring at Natsume to be the one to take his hands back. Her hair tickles when it falls back across her face. ]

I have always been honest with you. [ Saying only what she wants to say and nothing more does not constitute a lie. ] You can stand to extend the same courtesy to me.

[ Neither friendships nor relationships in general operate on pure truths, this she knows all too well. It creates a foundation, though, and hers and Natsume's... ]

If you needed help, ask me and I will help. If you needed somebody to listen, I will listen. Don't play coy and say you want to talk "for indeterminate amount of time, about various things." What was I supposed to think?

[ Obviously, that he was going to prattle on and waste her time. He'd given her nothing to work with, but she still came with him. ]

( komaeda can't always hold on, this is... a hostage situation, but he stays where he is as he lifts himself on the next step once rokkun manages another. it is a pretty slow process like this, one where komaeda has a lot of room to think about things so far, and maybe something he wants to ask since they're in their honesty era. his fingers (organic) drum against rokkun's stomach, holding onto him tighter as they finally reach the door —

because he's hidden behind him, his eyes aren't attacked by the sun's light, but he closes his eyes regardless as he relaxes into the other's back. )

This is my first time.

( up here. UP HERE. he's going to link his hand with rokkun's own so now he might be stuck in this position, but it's fine. )

So take care of me.

[ HE HAS A CHARACTER SONG???? WTF NMS!!!!!!!!! I JUST LISTENED TO IT AND IT WAS SAD

sighs about Komaeda, this is a terrible emotion to have

anyways, npc-kun gets dragged and opens their mouth like aaaaaaaah ]

Find somebody to give you theirs.

( ORIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WATCH THIS ONE ITS SO FUCKED UP, AND FUCKS W MY MINDDD. when komaeda has this really gay sex song and then he has the really sad sad song so he goes back and forth on the scales of sins and forgiveness.

he'll break off another piece, he isn't sure if it's sweet, but they're going to go through all this bread together. open up!! )

That's possible? ( someone to give their heart... hmmm. ) Do you think bodies that's been burnt cut, burnt and then dropped into a pool could have something of a heart left?

( he has an affinity with death. )

I didn't check.

( waiting for you to dm one day like "maya's gonna murder natsume" so i can go "okay, let me know how" )

Contrary to what you might beLIEVE, I didn't call you up here to talk me out of an existential criSIS.

( ...No, it really was just about memories on the fourth floor, and being on the roof with her, since she likes the view. )

My conversations with you never go exactly to PLAN. ( But he doesn't sound mad about it; if anything they just go better, overall, so he can't be. ) If I had told you, "I want to talk about hallucinations I had on the fourth floor of the school that I also purely coincidentally disappeared for a week because of during summer BREAK," what would you have DONE? Once we were done with the fourth floor chatTER, you would've LEFT. We probably wouldn't have even made it up HERE.

( Because that's all the conversation would need to be. And maybe that still would have led into the "are we dead" conversation depending, but who knows. Maybe it wouldn't have, and he could think himself into an early grave in the meanwhile. )

[ STOP don't say up here like the alternative is down there ]

I will. We'll take it slow... we have all night, anyways.

[ anyways... At least the rooftop is empty... quiet...

Desolate, actually, is the word that comes to mind as Rokkun looks around, for how long it's been since he's been up here in all his years at this school. For as much as people say there is no private place in the school, the rooftop might be the closest. ]

Come here. [ He leans forward a little so Komaeda knows he means to walk again. ] Let's sit down.

[ Over there. At the edge. ]

[ THE FLATLINE AND THEN HE WAKES UP I'M LOSING MY MIND IT'S TOO EARLY IN THE DAY FOR THIS aaaaaaaa ]

Gross.

[ Not the bread, but the imagery, as if they need more of a reason to be wary of the pool. ]

Even if it did, you can't have it. That's not the sort of heart I can fix.

( what's down there... WHAT'S DOWN THERE? my mind always up with god, heaven-adjacent. bop, bop bop to the top... )

You're pretty rough when you handle me, I'm not sure if I can trust you.

( if komaeda looks around, is there anything that stands out since it's been awhile when the last manmade creature has walked this area. it might be wrong, but every new location is a new playing field for komaeda, wondering if he played a killer for hope... what would he do — the roof seems like a perfect spot, but the chances of not getting caught...

hm. )

Forgive me for dragging you all the way up here just to talk...

( he'll sit at the edge, but... is this good for komaeda, he's a little insane? also, he wants back in the spot between rokkun's legs like normal when they're under the wisteria tree. )

You're right. I would not have even left the classroom.

[ If he were to say it like that???? please ]

But if you simply said that you experienced something strange that you wanted my opinion on, that would have been enough. If you said you wanted to eat together instead of baiting me to an auditorium picnic, that would have been enough.

[ If Natsume cuts out 99.9999% of what he does, everything would be fine, but instead he's like this. ]

You don't have to operate on the extremes, like it's the only way people will see you.

( STOPP WHERE IS HIS COMA ERA IN YOGEN!! HE DESERVES IT!! just a little flatline for you... as a treat... sometimes you go through purgatory four times. )

Why can't I have that heart? Are you a doctor, too?

( he looks at the bread, only half eaten, and he thinks that npc-kun doesn't like it. so he puts it down, grabbing another one of the many he brought.

stop him before he opens it. )

[ He'll show him rough. It's enough of a drop that if he shoves Komaeda off the roof, he'll have time to get back down to the fourth floor and possibly over to the classroom side before anybody suspects anything.

He doesn't shove Komaeda over, though. Instead, he sits down next to him, close enough to brush shoulders, knowing full well neither of them should be sitting there on the edge and least of all Komaeda. But at the same time, that lurking danger is what keeps him in the present, forces him to be aware of the here and now and every little movement from the person beside him and the world in front of him. ]

You pushed more than dragged... But it's not as if you forced me. I would go with you anywhere.

[ He kicks his leg out, idly, just enough to bump the heel of his shoe against the side of the building and feel his feet slip, before using his other foot to slide his foot back inside. ]

...You don't trust me, do you? Not after what you've seen?

Yeah.

[ Sure, they're a doctor now if that's what it takes for Komaeda to stop stealing body parts. I hope they threw that body back into the pool when they were done so the monster could have the rest of its meal. Half eaten meals are just too sad... npc-kun thinks so too as Komaeda puts that bread away. That was was good. The cream was light and fluffy.

...

It'll be like when you get a box of a dozen variety chocolates and instead of following the guide on the bottom of the box you bite each chocolate in half so you know exactly which is your favorite other half to eat at a different date. This is npc-kun's half.

They open their mouth for the next slice. ]

[yo homethem can cook??? sick. it makes subaru laugh though, bright as can be, eyes still shut]

You can cook? You shouldn't have said that, 'cause it might just slip my mind so you'll have to make it for us yourself~☆

[cause like, it wouldn't just be for npckun, right,

but that'd be nice... lunch exchanges like that]

( the drop is... pretty high, he can't help but stare down at it in interest — higher up than sena, and the other bodies that natsume dropped... even more than chiaki's. it's a thought that passes through his head, leaning forward just a little, but not too much that screams he wants to jump. )

Following me everywhere... I'd say wouldn't be a good thing, but then... whose idea was Saransk?

( when he held komaeda's hand out the classroom on that unfortunate day, then he's unable to name a few others, but komaeda feels like he's no good for any of the people around him. it's why he doesn't think he deserves things such as friendships, company, and even now... he doesn't believe it's good to be here, no matter how much inside he enjoys the little things about it, or maybe... that's his festering worries, he doesn't know. )

I should be the one asking you that... it's not like you would have told me. Had I never seen it, I doubt you would have admitted it considering you keep to yourself... Did you think I'd hate you for your decision?

( whereas he can't, because even komaeda has a memory of a life he keeps to himself, one that he begged for no one to see. )

[ Stop he's dumb as shit... but maybe he should explain to Akki that he doesn't really go out of his way to meet people like this? Just him? Fellas, is it gay... ?

But Akira takes a peek, looking over the tallies and trying to count them. He didn't get that luxury last time, but he's at least making an attempt to have a guestimate of how many the other has before placing a hand on his arm. ]

I've tried asking a few people before, but these marks... I woke up with the ones I have, but I don't have any clue as to why they're there in the first place. [ He does, however, thanks to Joshua running his mouth like an info dump you never asked for. But his pretentious ass helped, in a way.

He taps a finger against Akki's forearm, his gaze leveled once he peers up to look at his face. ] You know how many people have died here?

npc contact.1

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