adsum | npc contact.1

[ ? There's plenty of grass to run around on and stay away from the edges. For somebody who likes sports, Stephanie is surprisingly cautious. She's also 10. They're not going to be friends. ]

The special occasion is when you want to play tennis without electrocuting yourself to death, and you find a generous senpai to turn it off for you. I'll consider it after I'm able to run again.

[ Because, look. If he can't play, what does he get out of it? nothing ]

... Komaeda... [she kneels next to him, looking at him with a concerned expression.] Komaeda, you didn't do anything wrong. None of this is your fault. You were...

[being kind. or was it kindness? for all he worships his ultimates, she's never seen him treat them with... acquiescence. excusing flaws instead of harping on them. working to make his wording clearer, rather than trying to twist them more.

she grips his shoulder. she can't stop whatever actions he'll take when she speaks. and she can't stop that. she couldn't stop that if she wanted to.]

Is this how you always talk to him? The way he was acting, I thought you were at least nice to him.

[and she doesn't.]

If this is how you treat people that care about you, your family is better off without you.

( that's a hard rejection, he thinks, find a generous senpai that'll be willing to turn it off, and he thinks of others. he does find rokkun's way of thinking too selfish, and komaeda wonders if paying for whatever medical bills the other is having will speed up the process, give stephanie what she needs — sadly, that's not how hope works. it comes from how a person handles what's thrown at them, and between the two, they should be able to overcome their personal difficulties.

or so he thought, and not expecting stephanie to speak to him which he smiles, a hand raised to brush it off. )

I should have anticipated this, actually.

( he wants to say more, until stephanie continues, and komaeda's eyes widen for a brief moment before returning to a normal size. a sensitive subject, and he raises a hand to his shoulder where hers reside, and he squeezes to gain her attention. )

...

( his mouth parts, he wants to say what the narration for any of this is, but then sara's question comes to mind. miss blue and mr. red, two hopeful individuals with their own requests and actions that differ from one another, and who would he protect. lips close, and he glances at the water in front of him because his answer to that question was to let the hope of the two individuals speak, and it applies here too. no matter the description of their relationship, they can push past this. )

[ Okay, so... I glanced over past threads and Rokkun is not actually very nice to Komaeda. He hasn't been very nice in general, but a lot of him being here is butting heads not unlike what's happening now, except he has no selfish desire for Stephanie to like him. Everything about this makes him bristle— somebody he had left on bad terms with coming up to him and demanding something out of the blue, rubbing it in his face that he can't do anymore the one single thing that made him happy, and then she brings up his family and he grits his teeth, wanting so bad to spit a retort at her face but instead,

he turns around in the water to swim to the other side of the pool, so he can get out there. ]

[the cool thing about big, tiled rooms like indoor pools is that, even when you're not talking very loudly, your words can still echo.]

Coward.

( as if komeda can tell when people are being nice to him or not, his own family hated him, and he's used to that so he doesn't see anything out of the usual. this does leave room for komaeda self deprecation, a bit of disappointment in his voice. )

Trash like me getting involved in people's lives... why do I try, and neither party feels very hopeful now...

( depressing, he comments to himself as he stands up properly.

well.
rokkun: 0
stephanie: 2

time to pack it up, he'll direct his attention to stephanie. )

I know it's hard to understand, but he wants to be needed... Next time, we'll work on the hope you two share. ( c: )

I don't want there to be a next time.

[she puts the other arm over his shoulders, putting her head against his back.]

And I didn't like the way he spoke to you. If I see him do it again, I'll... beat him up, or something. You deserve better.

There's a disconnect... but his hope isn't entirely against ours.

( he blinks slightly confused, smiling softly as he cants his head to the side. he's not bothered by her actions, and his hand lifts to pat her head. )

He sounded pretty excited to hear from us, actually! If he didn't, he wouldn't have given us the clues that he did.. I'll thank him for us when he's not fleeing, it'd do no good right now...

Don't thank him for not doing anything. We didn't get clues; all we learned is that he doesn't care if all of us die horribly - and I already knew that.

... Saying what I said 'cause I was upset about you doesn't make what I said any nicer though, does it? [a sigh] And I don't feel bad about it at all, this time. Maybe I'm not very nice anymore.

This place has been our coffin for a long time...

( a purgatory of sorts if he had to explain it, a goal set for all of them, and if they're able to pass the benchmark... then...

no need to worry stephanie over it. )

That's for another day, though. Today, you are still kind... because you were capable of forgiving even when against it. You find yourself cruel, but to me... you are kind even now. This is why it's hard to discern what is right and wrong when questioning other people's morals...

( that said, it's why he can say both side were selfish, but wrong? that's a whole different can of worms. )

It used to be easy, for me. I'd really like for it to go back to when it was easy.

[it probably can't. for several reasons.]

... Komaeda, am I dead? I don't feel dead, but I don't think I know any better. If the scars on our arms are supposed to show lives that were taken... I've only ever had the one.

You're growing, this is what hope is all about... strengthening you to handle things that you couldn't, but if they're without a smile... are you growing or becoming weak? Only you can ask yourself that... as for your hope, I can gauge it easily.

( now he thought he said that conversation was for another day. )

Is it impossible to be dead, if you don't know you're dead... how can you say you're alive?

( it might sound like crazy logic, because it is, but when they think about it... )

I only remember being alive... If I'm not alive, what does that mean for everybody back home? For all my friends, my family? [another day has to be today.] What if I forget them, too?

...

( this sort of information is sensitive, and yet, he doesn't know if telling her will help or break her more. from the questions she gives him now, he smiles softly, and laughs. )

Don't think about it too much, you're what you believe yourself to be. ( ... ) You're alive, Stephanie, we all are.

( here in yogen anyway, and then they're capable of dying. he turns the dial though, acting on his own accord to throw off the conversation: )

I can stab myself if you want to see a death to check whether you're alive or not!

( and he opts out for her sanity, to keep her hope strong. )

You just wanna stab yourself anyway. [she sticks her tongue out, leaning her weight on him further.]

... I mean it, you know. You do deserve better. [pause] And you're gonna get it, if I have anything to say about it.

Perhaps.

( not her leaning, and he's going to try not to fall over on purpose... it's tempting. )

You shouldn't say things like that, I'll end up disappointing you again... In a couple of days, I want to have this conversation again.

( ... ) So I want you to continue being you until then, alright?

Sounds easy enough.

[beat] Are you gonna talk to me like I'm a silly kid, or is a couple of days enough to get that out of your system?

I know you're smart, so I'll talk to you like I always have.

( is that the insanity or what... god only knows. )

But in a few days... I doubt Rokkun wants us to stay around his pool...

Maybe if we stay here long enough, he'll get tired and drown.

[translation: piggyback ride, peasant.]

...

( thinks about making rokkun apologize to stephanie for round 3. )

Now, now... we like him too much to do that.

( he's on his knees, he gets it! he gets it! )

I don't like him at all. I think I might hate him, but I've never actually hated anyone before, so I'm not completely sure.

["doesn't she hate--" that's just annoyance she would not actually relish kokichi or add dying.]

But you like me... and me and him are the same.

( ... he's going to make sure stephanie is settled on his back properly, not wanting her to fall off. )

To hate him would be to hate me as well... which I do deserve your hatred.

You are not. I mean, yeah, you're mean a lot of the time, but it's only because you're nuts. He doesn't have a good excuse. He's just scared.

[rests head down on his shoulder. being mad is very tiring; no wonder robbie sleeps all day.]

And sometimes you can be really nice, without even meaning it. If he's ever like that, I've never seen it.

Ahaha... I'm nuts.

( honestly if he didn't have his dementia, he probably couldn't function how he does. so that's a compliment, he thinks. )

He's just like us, but there's nothing wrong with being afraid... there's more to him, you just have to learn it.

( now she knows why adults sleep all the time. )

I think him... wanting his family back is a showcase of him being nice, to have someone to see again... to have... I don't understand it, but I guess being wanted could be nice? And he wants, and wants... and wants.

That's not being nice. That's just thinking about himself. [sniffs] I bet he hasn't even thought about how what he did would affect them. If his family was here and walked by him, and he looked at them like strangers... I can't even imagine how much that would hurt.

npc contact.1

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