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npc contact.1

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( as if komeda can tell when people are being nice to him or not, his own family hated him, and he's used to that so he doesn't see anything out of the usual. this does leave room for komaeda self deprecation, a bit of disappointment in his voice. )

Trash like me getting involved in people's lives... why do I try, and neither party feels very hopeful now...

( depressing, he comments to himself as he stands up properly.

well.
rokkun: 0
stephanie: 2

time to pack it up, he'll direct his attention to stephanie. )

I know it's hard to understand, but he wants to be needed... Next time, we'll work on the hope you two share. ( c: )

I don't want there to be a next time.

[she puts the other arm over his shoulders, putting her head against his back.]

And I didn't like the way he spoke to you. If I see him do it again, I'll... beat him up, or something. You deserve better.

There's a disconnect... but his hope isn't entirely against ours.

( he blinks slightly confused, smiling softly as he cants his head to the side. he's not bothered by her actions, and his hand lifts to pat her head. )

He sounded pretty excited to hear from us, actually! If he didn't, he wouldn't have given us the clues that he did.. I'll thank him for us when he's not fleeing, it'd do no good right now...

Don't thank him for not doing anything. We didn't get clues; all we learned is that he doesn't care if all of us die horribly - and I already knew that.

... Saying what I said 'cause I was upset about you doesn't make what I said any nicer though, does it? [a sigh] And I don't feel bad about it at all, this time. Maybe I'm not very nice anymore.

This place has been our coffin for a long time...

( a purgatory of sorts if he had to explain it, a goal set for all of them, and if they're able to pass the benchmark... then...

no need to worry stephanie over it. )

That's for another day, though. Today, you are still kind... because you were capable of forgiving even when against it. You find yourself cruel, but to me... you are kind even now. This is why it's hard to discern what is right and wrong when questioning other people's morals...

( that said, it's why he can say both side were selfish, but wrong? that's a whole different can of worms. )

It used to be easy, for me. I'd really like for it to go back to when it was easy.

[it probably can't. for several reasons.]

... Komaeda, am I dead? I don't feel dead, but I don't think I know any better. If the scars on our arms are supposed to show lives that were taken... I've only ever had the one.

You're growing, this is what hope is all about... strengthening you to handle things that you couldn't, but if they're without a smile... are you growing or becoming weak? Only you can ask yourself that... as for your hope, I can gauge it easily.

( now he thought he said that conversation was for another day. )

Is it impossible to be dead, if you don't know you're dead... how can you say you're alive?

( it might sound like crazy logic, because it is, but when they think about it... )

I only remember being alive... If I'm not alive, what does that mean for everybody back home? For all my friends, my family? [another day has to be today.] What if I forget them, too?

...

( this sort of information is sensitive, and yet, he doesn't know if telling her will help or break her more. from the questions she gives him now, he smiles softly, and laughs. )

Don't think about it too much, you're what you believe yourself to be. ( ... ) You're alive, Stephanie, we all are.

( here in yogen anyway, and then they're capable of dying. he turns the dial though, acting on his own accord to throw off the conversation: )

I can stab myself if you want to see a death to check whether you're alive or not!

( and he opts out for her sanity, to keep her hope strong. )

You just wanna stab yourself anyway. [she sticks her tongue out, leaning her weight on him further.]

... I mean it, you know. You do deserve better. [pause] And you're gonna get it, if I have anything to say about it.

Perhaps.

( not her leaning, and he's going to try not to fall over on purpose... it's tempting. )

You shouldn't say things like that, I'll end up disappointing you again... In a couple of days, I want to have this conversation again.

( ... ) So I want you to continue being you until then, alright?

Sounds easy enough.

[beat] Are you gonna talk to me like I'm a silly kid, or is a couple of days enough to get that out of your system?

I know you're smart, so I'll talk to you like I always have.

( is that the insanity or what... god only knows. )

But in a few days... I doubt Rokkun wants us to stay around his pool...

Maybe if we stay here long enough, he'll get tired and drown.

[translation: piggyback ride, peasant.]

...

( thinks about making rokkun apologize to stephanie for round 3. )

Now, now... we like him too much to do that.

( he's on his knees, he gets it! he gets it! )

I don't like him at all. I think I might hate him, but I've never actually hated anyone before, so I'm not completely sure.

["doesn't she hate--" that's just annoyance she would not actually relish kokichi or add dying.]

But you like me... and me and him are the same.

( ... he's going to make sure stephanie is settled on his back properly, not wanting her to fall off. )

To hate him would be to hate me as well... which I do deserve your hatred.

You are not. I mean, yeah, you're mean a lot of the time, but it's only because you're nuts. He doesn't have a good excuse. He's just scared.

[rests head down on his shoulder. being mad is very tiring; no wonder robbie sleeps all day.]

And sometimes you can be really nice, without even meaning it. If he's ever like that, I've never seen it.

Ahaha... I'm nuts.

( honestly if he didn't have his dementia, he probably couldn't function how he does. so that's a compliment, he thinks. )

He's just like us, but there's nothing wrong with being afraid... there's more to him, you just have to learn it.

( now she knows why adults sleep all the time. )

I think him... wanting his family back is a showcase of him being nice, to have someone to see again... to have... I don't understand it, but I guess being wanted could be nice? And he wants, and wants... and wants.

That's not being nice. That's just thinking about himself. [sniffs] I bet he hasn't even thought about how what he did would affect them. If his family was here and walked by him, and he looked at them like strangers... I can't even imagine how much that would hurt.

It's not too bad of an experience, I have someone who does that to me everyday.

( ... )

It depends on the people and how they seem to handle it, being forgotten, someone not knowing the memories you spent...

( all those free time events... gone, back to square one. ) ...You live every day knowing that memories won't always remain.

There's a difference between forgetting just because you forgot, and... whatever it was he did. Trading them away for whatever stupid stuff the counselor offered him.

[she bets it was soccer skills. no wonder he's so put out.]

Did you ask him if that's how he got rid of them... I wish the counselor would take my memories... I wonder what it would be like to be completely blank...

( think komaeda would kill someone again? probably. )

He might not tell you anything though...

( even though komaeda knows, but... sighs... rokkun threw a fit the first time. )

I'm not sure the counselor would give much for damaged goods. [like just being honest.]

Why would he ever tell the truth? I'm just able to put two and two together to make four, is all... It's why he doesn't like being called a coward. 'Cause he knows it's true.

...Actually.

( big smile, maybe komaeda is insane... )

What reason does he have to not tell the truth? ( let him think... ) I've decided, I'll make sure you two understand one another soon.

( because that's what komaeda's always been interested in... understanding. )

npc contact.1

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