adsum | npc contact.1

( Why are you enabling this!!!

Age thirteen? That... really isn't that long ago; he imagines it must still be a sore spot. )

My condolenCES. ( The proper thing to offer, though he's sure Hiro's heard it dozens of times before. It isn't his place to ask how it happened either, but Hiro probably knows he's curious—most people are—Natsume will keep the question to himself though. ) Did you love THEM?

[ I think it's funny

Hiro's not about to pantomime his parents' potentially horrific death, so he settles for answering the question anymore, casting his eyes to the floor, nodding his head. ]

( "STOP BEING EMBARRASSING" BUT SHE'S TELLING HIM TO STALK MAYA LIKE HE'S SOME LOSER WITH A CRUSH WHO CAN'T TALK TO THE GIRL HE LIKES? HELLO? )

...I see your POINT. ( At least half of it. haha slaps knee this was a great sacrifice. ori about to be free from natsume-maya conversations but only because they're replaced with threads of him following her around i guess ) I guess I'll give it a TRY.

( :/ well... won't be any different from when he just followed people around to collect data on their habits in first year he guesses. )

Thank you for the adVICE, Sato-chan. I'll be sure to leave your name out of it if she catches me and asks what my problem IS.

( the answer, that answer... sounds like an excuse, when he's aware that komaeda knows things, has seen from his memory, and could have so many answers. yet, he doesn't pry, he doesn't ask who was waiting at home, he remains the same, locking himself into the idea that graduation will give him what he desires. locks of white hair shift to cover the way his eyes stare at the other, almost empty, nothing behind them to say whether he's proud or disappointed. it could be that komaeda's trying to understand this hope, the way the other has committed himself to reform in this way.

...

...

if he can't use the past to move forward, to apply it to his hardships, and make something greater out of it. can he call... this hope something that he loves? komaeda thinks back to the times he's said he's loved his hope, that he would do anything to see it prosper, the excitement that bubbled up inside of him when he watched rokkun act without letting anything hold him down. the one who would be an idiot, deflect, and make komaeda curious, there was something smooth and mysterious about him, and he even had komaeda willingly playing along —

...

...

he hums next, as if thoughtful, and his gaze lowers to the male's fist, and he tilts his head to look, and a piece of hair tickles against his nose, the dark gradient curling under his eye next. he slowly turns the other's hand, having his palm face up so komaeda's fingers can run against the crescent marks of his nails, checking to see if he broke the skin, or anything close. )

Ah, then I believe we're cancelling our plans, since graduation is that important to you.

[she won't force it. their acceptance of coming was good enough for her, and if they have to be a mystery for now - well, they can start with food, and see where they end up.

she's patient, when she needs to be.]

If you don't tell me what day you decide to come, I'll end up spending every evening in the common room waiting for you. You've made a promise - let's each hold up our end of it!

( Natsume's the top clown in Yogen's circus act and you're just letting this happen huh

That's good; children with good parents often love them, so at least they probably had a happy life up to that point. Probably. )

What's your favorite childhood memoRY? With them or otherWISE.

( ... )

Mine is one of my earliest—the first time my mommy let me attend one of her SHOWS. She's a world-famous fortuneteller, you SEE. I was sitting in the WINGS, watching her talk to people and help ease their troubled MINDS... Bringing smiles to their faCES. ( Natsume smiles slightly too, curling his fingers back into his palms. ) It was then that I decided I wanted to be just like HER. I wanted to help peoPLE, learn how to pick up on the most minute of cues and solve their proBLEMS... To rescue them from what ailed THEM.

( A very genuine, gentle sentiment. Did that get a little lost along the way, growing up? Maybe, but he found it again eventually and became a magician instead; it all worked out. )

She was... is an amazing woMAN. Daddy's lucky she married HIM, despite the fact he's a sleazy megalomaniAC.

( it's okay personally speaking i love rokkun and will always jump at the chance to learn more about him. natsume is just mad because he almost drowned.

His expression is a little tense, but neutral when he opens the door and finds it's just as he's walked through it before with Subaru: in better repair and without all the gorintos broken and strewn about. That's unsettling in its own right, thinking about the heavy weight on his chest and the conversation they'd had among the desecration, but he'll keep his face forward. )

And where would you be goING? Is it always the ROOF, or do you find yourself elseWHERE, as if caught in someone else's memoRY?

[ asfdljkh maybe she (I) just thinks it's funny

She does laugh a little when he begrudgingly accepts, quiet and under her breath even if it's not reflected in my icons "I don't need this smiling icon, Nao will never smile" ]

You'd better not. [ unsaid: or Else ] Do your best.

Hmm... Then, come see me every day! And you might as well buy something while you're at it! And then, if I feel like going, I'll be able to tell you and you don't have to wait for me.

[ Which they'd feel really bad about, because they know all about waiting for somebody who never shows. ]

[ The ellipses are killing him, standing there in silence like he's awaiting judgement or hoping for approval, which is a stupid thought to have but it's there anyways. Stupid, looking down at his hand and watching Komaeda trace those marks on his palm, no skin broken but it stings and throbs and the marks are deep enough to still be felt, looking at Komaeda's hand in his and wanting to...

...

He looks up. ]

What plans?

I can't promise to buy something every day - that'd be a difficult one to keep. But I can promise to come see you every day. That's my counter offer.

[given that she disappeared for a week earlier, she'll have to think of a backup plan. maybe someone she trusts can be sent to deliver a message should she end up vanishing again, to let them know that she wasn't gone by choice. she can work it into the roommate agreement she has...one that they'll have to end up writing down at this rate...]

( she stares at him for a moment, unconvinced. empathy... in this place???? )

Why not? You know shit gets wild in here.

( isn't that the usual? )

Anyway, I dunno what happened, or why. Just... I was thinking I probably... don't have a lot of time left! So don't shorten it by sending scary guys after me!!

Don't worry, we'll take care of them.

( this all started because rokkun wanted to know, and komaeda has never touched on the end of that journey. he can remember it for next time, but what good will it do knowing that kogamo... the person he worked so hard to see is here within the school, and he can't even allude to that.

that's why he thinks that a select group will have to take care of npc-kun, just for awhile longer until rokkun can overcome those frightful events, the despair he feels having them known.

... it doesn't excuse that he removed his memories away himself, but the feeling of not being able to go on, the hurdle of the past... embracing those hardships, that's what makes hope so enticing to komaeda, to watch a person go against all odds. )

...Rokkun, ( he leaves his hand there, but his pinky throbs from the constant contact ) how did you get rid of your memories, it'll help me piece together why this all happened.

( thinking about if anyone else spoke to rokkun this man would be murdering somebody. )

In the end, there's only one person to blame, so let's use what's at our disposal to find the culprit, shall we?

[ Yes.

He has to think on his favorite memory— it's hard to come up with anything, as opposed to having too much to choose from, but it isn't as if he thinks so much about the past that it's all fresh in his mind. He's distracted anyways, when Natsume starts talking, trying to imagine a fortune telling show... he's imagining one of those small stadiums that's a concrete stage and two bleachers in front of it...

If only everybody's problems could be magicked away, just like that.

It's a sentiment that gets a small smile out of him, at any rate, one that almost looks like he wants to laugh when Natsume brings up his dad. And then sad as he thinks about his own dad...

He takes a step back and holds his palms down flat in front of him before sweeping his hands to either side, bends his knees just enough to suggest sitting before straightening up again, and then holds one hand with the palm face up and mimes eating.

Family picnics. ]

[ Their footsteps echo slightly with how the walls have crumbled and there's nothing between them and the end of the hall, dust visibly floating in the sunbeams that pass through the windows. It's a space Maya normally wouldn't speak out loud in, throwing another glance Natsume's way before looking back at that window just before the turn to the stairwell. ]

...It's always the roof.

[ Doesn't matter where she finds herself, that doesn't change the fact that she's going to the roof. There's nothing in this hallways she would stop for. ]

There's no need to be so on edge, Sakasaki. It's a lot more peaceful now, than it was before.

[ They purse their lips and hum like they're thinking, but they smile anyways, because people seeing them every day, filling in the space and the silence, is more than they could hope for. ]

Deal!

[ His expression crumbles at "I probably don't have a lot of time left" Rika is dying, and the guilt of being so difficult around her plunges deep. ]

What do you mean you don't have a lot of time...? Are you sick? I didn't think...

[ What? plans??

He tries to think back on it— the request to see the new year together, eloping to the forest, something about Saransk? But graduation has no bearing on any of those things. He'll leave the school, but

His eyes snap back up at the sound of his name. ]

Culprit? That one person to blame is me. And I told you why I did it.

[As much as Lucifer would normally be one to deny sharing food — mostly out of habit to keep Beel from horfing down everything on his plate while he blinks — there are in fact two sets of chopsticks because some logical part of his brain last-minute decided that maybe a bento box this fucking enormous is a little much for a kid, and so if Hikaru wasn't going to finish it, he'd eat the last of it. Never waste food. Except now they're sharing because he can't say no.]

It's been quite a while since I've gone, [he rarely has free time for such things,] but I would be thrilled to join you on the next time. The last time I went, I believe me and my brothers were camping out with some companions of ours to try and find a fairy. Where I come from, they're quite rare.

Did you find one?

[ They're not too sure about fairies, but they imagine it's sort of like when they'd go out with their friends to find beetles in the forest and it sounds fun, doubly when it's with siblings and they remember just how fondly Lucifer always regards his brothers. ]

( plans of letting amami take care of npc-kun because rokkun's being a bad boy. )

You're smart. Something we can finally agree on.

( the way this whole conversation has went so far, it makes komaeda slightly disappointed. his hand settles on his own hip, and he takes a few steps over to rokkun's grid... his lines, starting sketches...

he could break this right now, it's tempting. )

Then why did you blame us, why are you searching for someone to shoulder your mistakes... and not use the past to create your future, one that's brighter than the despair of back then...

( he sighs, touching the corner of it... he hasn't smudged anything yet, but... )

[ also he can't just steal rokkun's sibling wtf

He frowns when Komaeda touches the paper, absolutely staring down at that instead of at his eyes. ]

Throwing that memory away wasn't a mistake. Making me remember it was a mistake— seeing something personal that you aren't meant to see is a mistake. It's not your fault, but I'm allowed to be upset.

[ "upset"... putting it lightly... ]

I'm not—

( But he is, and he's plainly frustrated that she noticed; that it was apparent enough. And of course she wouldn't speak in it: she probably walks alone. There's no need to talk if you're going off on your own.

But they're together, and... well, he keeps his voice quiet at least; he has enough respect for that, short bites of conversation as unobtrusive to the dead as possible. )

As long as you take care not to touch the gorinTOS, I suppose that it IS.

( komaeda just wants to see his aratas together... )

You always knew, I didn't remind you of anything. Is your memory that poor? I asked if this was a conversation you wanted to have... in the end, this is just your own difficulties.

( he's upset, but komaeda doesn't really care at the moment as he's messing with the paper. rokkun was going to give it to him, wasn't he? )

If you hadn't thrown it away... you wouldn't be filled with such anger.

[ Oh this is rich, Komaeda talking to him about memory problems.

but

he's right about one thing: it's anger that festers in the pit of Rokkun's stomach and Komaeda had warned him of just that. What if reopening this wound made Rokkun hate him? What if it made him think differently of him? Would he still have wanted to hear?

...

He pushes away from the desk. ]

It's not like I have any choice in this matter. What's done is done. ...I'll see you later, Nagito.

npc contact.1

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this is the hand pose

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when rokkun pisses steph off komaeda makes that hand pose

gonna break that hand

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komaeda will kill himself ?

over a broken hand??