adsum | npc contact.1

( let me talk to vp again, i'll eat off her shoes...

not his log reference, he really needs that? komaeda wants to delete it again, but rather than doing that, he points to the food that he brought: the chips, and then the drink. he doesn't know if hiro remembers, but komaeda recalls those are something he wanted before.

to make sure hiro understands, he picks up the bag of chips to hold out to him, and then shakes them gently despite there being no sound. )

( ...damn, he'll have to actually keep to it if he does.

He hesitates, but takes her hand. He'll just have do his best to make sure she doesn't want to kill him before that happens, he guesses, and shakes on it. )

Do you like the roofTOP? This isn't the first time you've tried to get me on it aLONE.

( she perks up a little, at that. even if it's not something important, and even if it's something he's just making up to make her feel better... it still feels nice, to be able to help, for once, as opposed to ruining everything, as she always does.

so she nods, even though he can barely see it. )

Okay, just... ping me on the forums, or something, so you don't have to make the trek yourself. ( since... his leg... ) And, um... take care of the Akki chicken for me, okay? I think it'll get lonely if you don't visit it at all.

[ He smiles

cracks open another pistachio ]

Strangely, not many people take me up on that offer. Memories are typically such coveted things... though there are of course memories a person would rather forget. You have them too, don't you?

[ sfadkjh she doesn't want that!!! she woudl cry, i would cry

Why does Komaeda have selective dementia and remembers unimportant things like snack requests that even Hiro doesn't remember until he looks from the chips and looks at the message and connects the dots. Weeks late... But he's not ungrateful, nodding that Komaeda did get the order right and—-

glances over his shoulder to make sure the librarian can't see

opens the chip bag because fuck the no eating in the library rule, nobody can hear him. He caps his fingers with bugles. ]

[ The contract is sealed... no backing out from this now. Do your best to curb her bloodlust. ]

It's not that I like or dislike it. The talk must be worth the trek required to get up there, in the first place. [ all those STAIRS. although, with the elevator currently being installed, it would be as annoying to reach. ]

...It's not a bad view, though.

You don't want to visit it yourself? You'll be the one it misses the most.

[ Or something like that. It's her game, anyways, even if she didn't seem all that enthusiastic about playing it outside of raising animals, and that sort of thing can get boring very fast. He'll have to ask Nanami what Candy Crush is the next time he remembers... find a game Rika would like. ]

If not that game, then I could lend you something else. It would be nice to take a break from things, wouldn't it? You don't have to think about anything else for several hours. This wouldn't be the world you live in.

[ Embrace escapism. Sometimes that's what you gotta do to continue living in a place like this. ]

...

( stop, she'll miss the akki chicken, too. totally just the chicken, and not the actual person it was named after, by the way, before you ask!!!!! but no. she promised she won't bother him. it'd be stupid to give up on that like, five minutes in, but also somehow very rika.

"this wouldn't be the world you live in," he says, and it resonates stronger than he might think. back home... she wished that wouldn't be the world she lived in, either. for someone to show up — to take her away somewhere else, entirely, away from all the misery and pain. here... well, it's hardly any better; she's left to her own devices, and so far, making good choices hasn't exactly been her forte.

yeah, going somewhere else sounds nice. )

I thought death could do that for me, you know. Save me from this world. ( she hums, a little thoughtful, snorting with amusement. ) Who would've known it was video games all this time? I'm so stupid.

You're wrong!

[ It's blurted out, and he flinches and pulls back, as if surprised at himself, at how sharp and angry his voice is that he almost doesn't recognize it as his own. The shock tempers his outburst to its usual quiet hesitance, fists balling at his sides so he isn't tempted to reach out, no matter how much he wants to hold onto something, as if he were enough to keep Rika here. ]

It's not... It won't- Dying won't save you. Saving means to go somewhere better, but dying— it's not- Death is nowhere, there's nothing, you can't... Kawai-san... please...

[ Don't smile and joke about that. Please don't. ]

( So she likes it. )

I'm more of the "secret underground room" type of person mySELF, but seeing you in the sun might sway my opinION.

( miss vp!! komaeda will give up a lot to see what the inside of the dorms look like!! he'll work part-time, as she don't know yet, but will, he's good with cleaning.

that's how selective dementia works, or rather, he tries really hard to remember because he's going to forget. he can't even remember the first thing he did when he got in this school. once hiro's satisfied, he watches as he starts to cap his fingers with the chips one by one, and i respect what's fun to him along with the attention span. )

and you just woke up, good afternoon. did i get your order right?what?i must have, how lucky of me...now, i wanted to make a proposal.

[ I keep reading the message from the front and being hit with deja vu, I hate that, Hiro probably looks vaguely confused every time he reads over the message too like he's trying to imagine what it would be like to wake up every two seconds.

Also, Maya's going to kill him for 1) accepting food from Komaeda, and 2) believing it a gift out of the goodness of his heart instead of a trade, of course it would be a trade, he'd eaten a chip and now he's not allowed to refuse Komaeda's proposal— or at least he can't refuse hearing it out.

There is no text reply; Hiro just turns slightly in his seat so he can give Komaeda fuller attention. Fuller not full, because he's going to recap his fingers for a second round of chips, since he'd already eaten some and there's no turning back now. ]

( she almost jumps, at that, seeing his reaction — stronger than the meek responses he usually gives her, eyes wide in surprise. )

... how do you know? That there's nothing. ( in a way, that's a comforting thought, too.

she never expected there to be anything in the first place. )

I just thought that... once I'm dead, I'll be free. If there's nothing, then there's no pain, either.

[ Secret underground room... She can bury him fifty feet under the ground when she kills him, grant this last wish of his. ]

Unfortunately for you, you're stuck and it's too hot for outdoor meetings.

[ So the only way he'll be able to see her in the sunlight is to watch from the windows as she flips him off walking out the front doors. ]

( the message comes off like a threat to be honest, and to be honest, hiro's at his strongest right now so he'll never have to wake up every so seconds. okay, i lied, komaeda will ruin that for him.

as hiro turns to him, komaeda can't recall in either of those two moments where it seemed like hiro was willing to give his attention — it always felt like he was trying to get away (which is valid). a natural response to anyone that comes into komaeda's vicinity, but he can't say that he's not a little excited for this.

he taps on the pda for a bit, thinking of how to phrase certain things considering he has maya's words to think about. )

we're going to have a fundraiser soon, and i wanted to know if you'd join them... your art skills would work wonders by drawing in the attention of others, it got mine considering the mark you left on my hand made me wonder for awhile... anyway, i believe people should see the sort of hope that you have.

( realized there was a pun in there. )

I'll walk you home as your heart desires one DAY, Little Wolf. You, Hiro-kun, and I can go to the arcade togeTHER.

( c: c: c: )

Though I'll correct you -- technicalLY, I can reach the courtyard NOW, but I have to climb out a window to do SO. If ever you'd like to meet under the wisteria tree one DAY... ( ...a soft laugh. ) But even with the SHADE, it'll be a little too hot, HM?

There's no pain, but there's no joy either, there's no— you won't get to eat combini flan late at night after school anymore, or watch your partner's soccer games, or play the second installment of Silent Hill, or Final Fantasy IX, or Skies of Arcadia, or Spyro or—

[ wait ]

What I mean is, you have things you're looking forward to and that keep you going, don't you? You can't do any of that when you're gone. There's so much more to living than the pain.

( ... )

... well, who knows? Maybe it's true you get reborn. Maybe you get to live in a better place, once your soul's somewhere else entirely.

( she hums, glancing up. she's not sure whether she believes in anything about afterlife, or rebirth, or any religious concepts of death in general, but — she thinks it'd be nice, to be able to put your faith in something so silly.

well, at the very least, she knows now that life isn't just about pain. it's about the good moments, too, and... even if they're scarce, sometimes it's enough to keep you going. she might be weak, but there are ways to offset that, and... she wants to live. despite everything. )

Don't make that face at me, Akki! I won't do anything stupid. ( maybe. )

( he sees the flinch, watching akira closely with sharp eyes, but doesn't comment. he wants answers, but frankly, now isn't the time, and he knows that. more important right now is the state the two of them are in. )

Are you gonna be okay?

( collective "you," as his eyes glance between rokkun and akira. amami's pretty sure the anemia alone isn't going to kill him, but it can't be helping either, and his eyes flicker to the cuts he's used to patch rokkun up in the first place — making sure they've closed on their own as well. )

I wouldn't give up my worst memory for anything. [even if now her worst memory is less "one time my friends were really mad at me" and more "people I loved and trusted did several murders.] I'd sleep on the floor forever if that was my only other option.

[ Talking to her telepathicaly but hey maybe he can hear, 'What the fuck this dude can see me AND KNOWS ABOUT OUR MEMORIES HERE¿?? what a freak. love the guy.' ]

[ Energy does become loss when it changes form that is why he cannot do this so regularly. But to play and douse herself in such flurries of hard energy is weird - considering the amount of pain he is in already in being here. He seems indifferent, ]

Ehhh, I promised Id show you I'm already dead or whatever once i felt more like my actual self. Wonder how my wish came true, anyway I'm different. [ It's funny how deep down he obsesses over that. ] Now you fucking know, in another world all this shit would have been healed already. 'Like these injuries? Normal. Had worse, one time had my whole arm cut off. OH OH, OR THE TIME I GOT EATEN HEAD FIRST BY A MANTICORE!!

( normally that sort of talk makes her blush and lean away- but she's tired, and this place is horrible, and she loves him, and being embarrassed is tiring. so instead, nene bumps her forehead against his until hanako comes up with his plan. )

Oh- okay. Is it another surprise...?

[ unless he's still recovering from getting hit by a BUS...

He's in the hallway. There's a buzzing in the air; a fly. Akira's patience only lasts so long before he's swinging a hand back and hoping to smack it in the air -- but, instead, he feels something much more solid.

A face. ]

Oh. [ Shit. ] ... Where'd that damn fly go?

What about the ones in your head you don't believe are yours?

[ She has those too. Memories of her life here- ones she considers fake, not hers, the self in them not her. Would she give those up? The familiarity she might feel with other people that extends long past the 4-ish months she's been aware of being here, the overlapping and contradicting memories. She has no need for those, does she? Give them to him. ]

npc contact.1

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dw like fuck this thread in particular

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4/28 @ akira???

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