npc contact.1

[adsum]

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[contrarily]

( she perks up a little, at that. even if it's not something important, and even if it's something he's just making up to make her feel better... it still feels nice, to be able to help, for once, as opposed to ruining everything, as she always does.

so she nods, even though he can barely see it. )

Okay, just... ping me on the forums, or something, so you don't have to make the trek yourself. ( since... his leg... ) And, um... take care of the Akki chicken for me, okay? I think it'll get lonely if you don't visit it at all.

[adsum]

You don't want to visit it yourself? You'll be the one it misses the most.

[ Or something like that. It's her game, anyways, even if she didn't seem all that enthusiastic about playing it outside of raising animals, and that sort of thing can get boring very fast. He'll have to ask Nanami what Candy Crush is the next time he remembers... find a game Rika would like. ]

If not that game, then I could lend you something else. It would be nice to take a break from things, wouldn't it? You don't have to think about anything else for several hours. This wouldn't be the world you live in.

[ Embrace escapism. Sometimes that's what you gotta do to continue living in a place like this. ]

[contrarily]

...

( stop, she'll miss the akki chicken, too. totally just the chicken, and not the actual person it was named after, by the way, before you ask!!!!! but no. she promised she won't bother him. it'd be stupid to give up on that like, five minutes in, but also somehow very rika.

"this wouldn't be the world you live in," he says, and it resonates stronger than he might think. back home... she wished that wouldn't be the world she lived in, either. for someone to show up — to take her away somewhere else, entirely, away from all the misery and pain. here... well, it's hardly any better; she's left to her own devices, and so far, making good choices hasn't exactly been her forte.

yeah, going somewhere else sounds nice. )

I thought death could do that for me, you know. Save me from this world. ( she hums, a little thoughtful, snorting with amusement. ) Who would've known it was video games all this time? I'm so stupid.

[adsum]

You're wrong!

[ It's blurted out, and he flinches and pulls back, as if surprised at himself, at how sharp and angry his voice is that he almost doesn't recognize it as his own. The shock tempers his outburst to its usual quiet hesitance, fists balling at his sides so he isn't tempted to reach out, no matter how much he wants to hold onto something, as if he were enough to keep Rika here. ]

It's not... It won't- Dying won't save you. Saving means to go somewhere better, but dying— it's not- Death is nowhere, there's nothing, you can't... Kawai-san... please...

[ Don't smile and joke about that. Please don't. ]

[contrarily]

( she almost jumps, at that, seeing his reaction — stronger than the meek responses he usually gives her, eyes wide in surprise. )

... how do you know? That there's nothing. ( in a way, that's a comforting thought, too.

she never expected there to be anything in the first place. )

I just thought that... once I'm dead, I'll be free. If there's nothing, then there's no pain, either.

[adsum]

There's no pain, but there's no joy either, there's no— you won't get to eat combini flan late at night after school anymore, or watch your partner's soccer games, or play the second installment of Silent Hill, or Final Fantasy IX, or Skies of Arcadia, or Spyro or—

[ wait ]

What I mean is, you have things you're looking forward to and that keep you going, don't you? You can't do any of that when you're gone. There's so much more to living than the pain.

[contrarily]

( ... )

... well, who knows? Maybe it's true you get reborn. Maybe you get to live in a better place, once your soul's somewhere else entirely.

( she hums, glancing up. she's not sure whether she believes in anything about afterlife, or rebirth, or any religious concepts of death in general, but — she thinks it'd be nice, to be able to put your faith in something so silly.

well, at the very least, she knows now that life isn't just about pain. it's about the good moments, too, and... even if they're scarce, sometimes it's enough to keep you going. she might be weak, but there are ways to offset that, and... she wants to live. despite everything. )

Don't make that face at me, Akki! I won't do anything stupid. ( maybe. )

[adsum]

[ He gives her this face, the sort that doesn't believe her at all that she won't do anything stupid. ]

I don't mind stupid. I just don't want you to die.

[contrarily]

( honestly, can't blame him. she's about as reckless as they come... stupid things are inevitable. )

I won't... but you have to promise me you won't, either, 'kay?

[adsum]

...Yeah. I promise. I won't die, not matter what.

[ Except we all know better. ]

[contrarily]

( she looks at him, all in his frail, beat-up-by-a-bus glory, and extends her hand, pinky out. )

Pinky promise.

[adsum]

[ He holds out his hand, linking his pinky with hers, skin warm but rougher than expected, from somebody who sits around playing videogames all day. Presumably.

Either way, it's a pinky promise with a little squeeze before he lets go and brings his hand back, crossing it over his heart. ]

[contrarily]

( and she repeats the motion, crossing it over her heart, too. now it's a promise, and if he breaks it, his soul shall never know eternal peace, amen. )

... thanks for humoring me, Akki. ( she smiles, though faint, looking down at her hand. ) And for everything else. I mean it.

[adsum]

...Yeah. Anytime you need me.

[ But as, like, a last resort. She has so many other friends, presumably, to go to first and should go to them first and should only come to him if she ??? needs something sewed, maybe. ]

[contrarily]

( no, she promised she won't bother him anymore. and though she's reluctant to leave, fully aware she needs to avoid him from now on to make sure she doesn't bring him any trouble, she... still hesitates.

it's for the best, though. she's never been good for people. )

See you around, Akki. Take good care of yourself, and of the Akki chicken, kay? ( so she forces a smile and waves a little, with her good hand, holding back the urge to touch him. )