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npc contact.1
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Natsume's brow furrows as Hiro makes it, and it stays that way a moment longer when he meets his eyes. Trust... )
...I wanted to earn yours easiLY. That's the only reason I said she and I were already FRIENDS.
( He curls his fingers over the invisible mark slightly, pursing his lips. A soft exhale, through his nose. Natsume doesn't like it, but he's different than he was two years ago - he doesn't like thinking about what and who exactly changed him like this.
So, softer: ) And by being friends with YOU, I hoped to become better friends with HER. She seems like she knows someTHING, and I thought she'd might be more willing to part with information if we were cloSER.
( He twitches his fingers, then reverses his and Hiro's hands so he can write the "trust" symbol on Hiro's palm this time, cradling his hope meat cooling pad against his shoulder. )
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It makes him feel numb, that he can't even appreciate Natsume's honesty, or what it means that he's admitting this to him. The hand that Natsume takes is limp, with no effort to hold it up so that when Natsume finishes tracing out that symbol he had held so close to his heart and lets go, his hand drops to his side.
Head bowed, he can feel the tears prick and well from behind his eyes, but he won't let them fall. If he doesn't blink, if he stares hard at the ground and doesn't blink, they won't fall and he's not crying. ]
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Natsume reaches for Hiro's hand again — his wrist, actually. Despite it being closer to Hiro, it feels less intimate a gesture. )
...I'm having to apologize to both of YOU. ( And Natsume doesn't like apologies - he doesn't like having to admit when he's wrong - but a magician is meant to guide others to happiness, and he's fully aware he hasn't done either of them that service. He can already feel the scolding he'd be getting if any of his seniors were here— ) Neither of you have to accept my apoloGIES, but I do mean THEM.
( Natsume lets the hope meat slide off onto the ground, nary a flinch when it fwumps there, and lets Hiro's wrist go — he scoots back some, but he isn't leaving; he's just giving Hiro space. )
I want to start oVER, ( quiet, ) and become good friends with YOU, Hiro-kun. Maya-chan, too. Not for informaTION, but because I... like talking to you TWO.
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Knees to his chest, head to his knees, he stares sideways at Natsume, at that hand that had taken his wrist and then left it feeling cold once he let go. He opens his mouth to speak, but there is no sound, just lips forming the word "Why?" not knowing if Natsume even sees. Talking with Hiro in particular is an ordeal, he knows that, he knows that he isn't interesting, that he can't offer anything, that he wouldn't be a good friend. He can see Maya and Natsume getting along, though. Two bold people with strong opinions. She probably already knew his intentions, right from the start, and warned him not to get in too deep with Natsume Sakasaki. He should have listened to her. But he was lonely, and he yearned for a friend... still does. ]
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Because I want to BE.
( He lets that hang in the air for a moment, simple, before he continues: )
You're more interesting than you KNOW, Hiro-kun. From the short chats we've HAD, I've been able to gain that MUCH... and you're one of the few boys around here that don't make me want to tear my hair OUT. I don't usually get along with my yearmates ( gee, wonder why ) but you've been an excepTION.
You remind me, ( he says after a momentary pause, ) of mySELF. The difference is you learned how to make friends properLY, and I was the result of a union by a megalomaniac and a woman used to always getting her WAY.
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It's hard to imagine, though, Natsume being anything like him, let alone that claim that Hiro knows how to make friends, when the two he has— had— has, had to be forced on him and stated as such.
He never knew how to make friends. He never thought saying it makes it so. But maybe it starts with him taking Natsume's hand and holding it tight, and letting it grow. ]
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...All of that is a secret between you and me, got IT? I have a reputation as someone who's good with peoPLE. ( which obviously does not correlate with Making Friends, but he gets along well enough and he's sociable when he feels like it. ) I'd also like it if you didn't tell Maya-chan. I know twins share almost everyTHING, but I'm trying to get back into her good graCES, or what little I was in prior to my misSTEP. I doubt upsetting you would help my CASE.
( ... )
Does she have a favorite food or something I can offer as an olive BRANCH.
( this is all he had to ask but he had a feelings jam instead. the essence of enstars actually )
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Hiro nods, then shuffles a bit closer, shifting so he's on his knees instead of sitting back so he can lean forward and bring his mouth close to Natsume's ears, a whisper only for him: ]
But she'll know that I told you.
[ Favorite food or not, she wouldn't be happy with that, Hiro thinks. An olive branch would look like a bribe, and she's too proud. Anything Hiro tells him, anything Natsume just magically happens to know the next time he talks to Maya, she's going to suspect— but he knows enough already. He knows she's not just the student council president, that's not all she is. ]
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Still though, doesn't he feel special — maybe a little, and he sighs as if this is truly the worst thing in the world. It isn't, but Wataru's dramatics have rubbed off on him in the past year. )
You're RIGHT, and I wouldn't want you to get in trouBLE. ( Or give her more reasons to distrust him... but it isn't like she completely distrusts him anyway, right? Natsume sets that aside to consider later. He's doing that a lot lately, not just with her. ) ...I'll think of someTHING.
( Lemon cookies. Perfume. Origami flowers. A bomb. A free punch. Acting like nothing happened. A folding fan, for the heat. )
Or maybe noTHING. ( Hmmmmm. Well. Quieter, not looking at Hiro but at the hope meat, he's going to pick it back up while he simply says: ) ...Thank YOU.
( For agreeing to try again? For talking to him? For the help? Thank you all the same. )
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Hiro settles back, leaning against his knees as he looks over at Natsume, meeting the thank you with silence and not quite a smile on his face but dipping his head in a nod. They're friends, or something like that, so of course he would help. ]
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He'll hang out with Hiro for a little while longer, at least until his cold pack gets kind of grossly warm... which then he'll toss it out, according to grocery standards it's now become a health hazard. But before he leaves, )
Can I ask you about your incident with Seki-kun someTIME?
( it would be "now" but if he keeps hiro for too long maya will show up like a bloodhound and getting caught sitting with the fridge open and cooling down with frozen food won't impress her, )
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