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[Noooooo he loves his cultists so much, if anyone hurts them he will cause murder to happen

Lucifer's not really someone who can be moved to tears with song or whatever but he's definitely got this look like, he's absolutely thrilled, and he's also trying not to be embarrassed about being put on the spot like this. Is he blushing? Yes he sure is.]

Honestly, you all never cease to impress me somehow.

[:')]

[ Praise from senpai... It's honestly always nice to hear, but especially when the whole imp thing had gotten out of their hands despite their best attempts at getting rid of them, but maybe that's impressive in its own right. ]

I'm glad... You were looking kinda down the other day, senpai, so I was hoping we could cheer you up!

It's sweet of you to be so concerned. It's nothing to be too worried about, however. [Why the fuck you lyiiin'.] I'm sure I've told you about my troublemaker brothers before, haven't I? They're up to no good again, undoubtedly...

[Just eat your cake, old man.]

"Too worried," but we're still gonna worry, you know? 'cause it's you.

[ They do perk up about Lucifer's troublemaker brothers, though, with the sort of interest you get when your parents mention some cousin or another and wonder what they've been up to. ]

I remember you talking about your brothers! It always sounded so lively... Anything we can help with? They're not in jail, are they?

[Lucifer has decided he will commit crimes for these kids. All it took was "we're gonna worry 'cause it's you". Fuck, he's so soft.]

...no, no... Well, alright, Mammon might have been arrested before, but I doubt he's stupid enough to get himself arrested when the other five need him.

[Pauses. Considers.]

Belphie might also have been arrested in the past, but he sleeps for twenty hours a day, so I doubt he's up to anything... But no, I don't think there's much you could do, officially.

[ Oh no... So his brothers are in trouble with the law and if there's nothing they can do officially, then that must mean they've got to work unofficially. Illegally. Whatever it takes. Maybe send some imps over there. ]

Oh... But if we could, then we gotta do everything we can to get them back, right?

[If they're alive, it's safe to assume that only one of these things is true:
1. They're fine and wondering where he is.
2. The house is burnt down, someone's been arrested, and Belphie is still probably asleep.]

I know that look. You really shouldn't get involved in these affairs. They're... how should I put this... A little more than any of us can chew right now.

[Because summoning the imps went horribly and summoning his siblings here is going to spell disaster somehow, even though some wistful part of Lucifer wishes they were here just so that he could keep an eye on them and keep them safe.]

I know, but... We're all here for you, senpai! We can chew at it together, so it doesn't matter if it's too much for any one of us!

[ Is that how the saying goes-- anyways, it's a group effort! Even if Lucifer is the strongest and practically carries the group. ]

[Do they know he's a demon? Is he going to have to explain some things to these kids? Have they seen him walking around wings-out yet?

Anyway, he gets this defeated look in his eyes, like he desperately wants their help but also don't let him damn anyone else to this killing game going on here just so that he can have the comfort of knowing that the envelope in his locker was just some sick prank. Ugh.]

Are you positive you want to meet my siblings in the first place? I could go on and on about why that's a horrible idea.

[He says, affectionately, with way too much warmth, because he loves those horrid brothers so much.]

[ Maybe they don't care, maybe they love him, wings and all. ]

I do! Because family is family, even if they're horrible— not that they're horrible!! I know not everybody always gets along... But they're important to you, and you're important to us, so it's like that- that math thing where A equals C!

[He loves them more, he is Singlehandedly about to make peace between the hells and the mortal realm just by being friends with these kids, dammit. But he's laughing again, soft and cheerful at that. Look what you've done to this old man.]

I'll take you to see them some day, I promise. Despite their flaws — and there are many — some part of me thinks that this could be a good thing. Just promise me now that you won't let Mammon drag you into any of his illegal gambling schemes...

[The fact that he has to say that...]

I won't! I don't have any money to gamble with!

[ Can't lose money if you don't have any, check mate! ]

[Absolutely fair and valid and extremely good because they'd go bankrupt if they did have money.]

And... also promise me that you won't let Asmodeus drag you too far into his wild parties he throws. Some restraint is good, but he really has none of it. And, [Lucifer please your mom voice is showing] don't let Belphegor and Satan drag you into their pranks.

[Pauses, thinks.]

Beelzebub and Leviathan will probably be okay influences.

[They don't do much besides eat and game, respectively. Lucifer takes a second, grins, and shakes his head.]

I'll make sure that you feel welcome in our home when you do arrive, though. I promise you that much.

[ Wild parties are no problem because their bedtime is probably, like, ten. Pranks are a bit harder to promise to avoid, whether dragged into or be on the receiving side of them, but, you know? ]

Hehe... I already do! Everybody doing what they love to do... just seeing that makes you feel happy, right? I bet it'll be lots of fun playing with everyone!

[ Parties? Pranks? Games and good food? Surround yourself by happiness and how could you not feel it too? ]

[Aww, they're so cute, is what Lucifer thinks, while the other part of his brain is like "no you don't understand, what my siblings consider pranks are usually done with lethal intent".]

...it does, truly. I love those fools to death. [ahems, looks away because he can't say that To His Siblings and can only say it to his darling cultists and now he's embarrassed because he did just say that out loud.] You'll have to tell me what your favourite food is. I'll cook for you. It would be remiss of me not to feed my guests, after all.

[ They smile when Lucifer expresses his love for his siblings because how could they not? The fact that he can say it out loud is a testament to how close he is to his brothers, whether they're here or not. Doubly so, now, they want him to be reunited with all of them...

would that be his birthday wish?

They really wish they could grant it, if so, and if not. ]

-—another day! Today's your day! It's your birthday and— and I didn't really know what to do about a present... so I thought of what I would want the most and what I would want is to spend time with you.

[Naturally, he'd love to be reunited with his ~~gremlin~~ siblings. But he understands, and at the end of the day, not being here is probably better for literally everyone, because he doesn't doubt for a second that Mammon would steal people's PDAs and run an illegal snack gambling ring for money.

Anyway enough about that! This kid is killing him, he's actively perishing. How dare they be so precious in front of him?]

Ha! I definitely don't require a gift, but the sentiment is appreciated. Alright, what would you like to do, then? I have all day.

Um! Uh...

[ They look a bit put on the spot, since it isn't their birthday but Lucifer's and this is like their wish being granted— but if Lucifer is willing, they are absolutely not going to turn him down, shuffling closer instead and looking up at him with bright eyes. ]

I want to hear more about you and your brothers! Your favorite stories! It'll be like they're right here with us!

[ Without all the danger of being here, but it'll still feel like they're there in this room sharing in celebrating Lucifer. ]

[It's not their birthday but Lucifer is too old to care about such things anyway. The things that he considers sentimental and special aren't based in age-old traditions, not anymore anyway.]

Alright, let's sit down. Let me think for a moment...

[Shoves a bite of tiramisu into his mouth, contemplates... what tales can he tell that are appropriate for teenagers? Nothing involving Asmodeus too heavily... oh, but there's—]

Back at our, er, other school, before I came here... there was once a time we had to put on a musical for a book series that Leviathan is particularly fond of and that was, rather ironically, also written by a friend of ours. This naturally required those of us with no musical experience to learn how to sing and dance, which was the majority of it.

Mammon, being the best dancer among us, had to grill us on dance routines... I'd never known him to be such a hardass about things until the moment he was given the freedom to instruct us all in dancing. I believe if I tried it now, I could still do the splits. It's been a while.

Halfway through the production, we had a cast member not from my immediate family leave the production, and the script had to be rewritten slightly. It could have been a disaster of untold proportions had those of us remaining not re-learnt all of our lines and roles practically overnight to prepare for further rehearsals. I had to get in a sword fight with Leviathan for one of our scenes, and Levi can be... I don't want to say a bit of a pushover, since he used to be a navy admiral, but he's not quite as physically strong as I am.

[Lucifer, casually: Yeah my brother was the admiral of Hell's Navy back in the day don't worry about it.]

I wasn't trying to make it into an actual fight, but I don't skimp for realism either. Oh, and... we had to do that entire thing while singing. I've been in sword fights before, but never while dancing and singing...

[ What the heck? Yogen has gladiator battles but so what? this other school gets swordfight musicals and nothing could be cooler. There's amazement clear in their eyes but also... envy. Yearning. The want to be a part of something like that, that sounds so fantastical that it's hard to believe it's true if not for the fact that Lucifer is telling the story. ]

I wish I could see... Did you have a solo? Can you show us a dance? If you need a partner, I'm good with sticks and stuff!

I did have a solo, yes. My character was the Lord of Corruption, a man who was known for scheming and plotting in secret. I had to wear this rather ridiculous-looking costume with this enormous fur cape...

[It was, erm, definitely one of the more ostentatious things Lucifer has worn in his time. Still, it was fun, save for the moments he quite nearly tripped on the cape and faceplanted.

Smirking, Lucifer leans forward, inclining his head toward them.]

I still remember the routine somewhat. If you grabbed us some sticks from outside, I could show you the basics of sword fighting quite easily — at least, the more theatrical version.

[ That is the most Extra cape, oh my god

But!!! The prospect of learning a sworddance routine is enough to get them jumping up onto their feet. ]

I'll be right back!

[ Hell yeah hell yeah, next month the gardener is going to destroy the school because everybody keeps snapping branches off the tree ]

[At this point half the school's staff already want to kick Lucifer's ass so what's one more person on top of that.

Anyway he's been blabbing instead of eating so he'll just, you know, finish off the tiramisu while they're gone... and then maybe push some desks aside so that there's room to go teach a kid how to swordfightdance without risk of murder... (sitcom laugh track plays)]

[ It's fine, it'll be fine, this kid is so short they can't reach the higher branches where the thicker and stronger ones are, so Lucifer can watch from the window as they jump to reach the closest branch but cannot, make a half-assed attempt to scale the trunk but failing that too, and then decides to look around the base of the tree for any branches that might've fallen off and collecting two or three of those instead.

...

Five minutes later they rush back to the classroom with their handful of sticks and present them proudly to Lucifer. ]

Here you go!

[Imagine being short, haha, can't relate.

Lucifer pretends he didn't witness all of that even though he absolutely did.]

Excellent job. [And then he rifles through the stick bundle to find ones that are likely sturdy enough to use as play swords, tests one of them by waving it through the air a little bit... this will do.] Alright, use this one. Although these aren't real swords, a good rule of thumb for this is not to aim for the face. I wouldn't want either of us to lose an eye.

[Teaching a kid to do a theatrical swordfight in murder-school, what's the worst that could happen?

Lucifer is, at least, a helpful teacher. He shows them how to stand, because it's important that they don't fall off balance at any point! At several parts he'll walk over and kick their feet apart with his own if they fall out of a stronger stance. The fun part is getting to the actual "swordfighting", in which Lucifer shows them how to parry his blows (which are really just light taps with the stick) and how to make it look real.

Being involved in musical theatre for an entire semester does something to a man.]

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