adsum | npc contact.1

[ ...He can't help but laugh softly, huffs of breath lost in the sizzling of the meat. ]

"It's what's inside that counts," huh? It doesn't matter how I think or what I do... as long as my core holds true.

[ It's a good way of thinking about things, and allows for many many excuses. It's the same with Komaeda and his hope, his obsession with it, the way he elevates it to an ideal. ]

Yeah. That's why I like you, and why I forgive you.

( maybe in normal people terms it's what inside, but komaeda's far too gone to utilize that phrase properly. so while he listens to rokkun, actually listening to him, komaeda's eyes remain settled on him. he's not seeing him for him, almost looking through him in search of something — towards the lattermost words of his conversation, komaeda blinks slowly. )

Yep, it's about that. ( about what, exactly? ) As long as you have hope, everything you do is right. ( he nods, flipping the piece of meat on its other side.

there's a small sigh as he feels a little out of place of what he should say or feel to those words. )

But you shouldn't waste that hope on others who don't deserve it. ( he lifts one hand, pinching at rokkun's nose. ) Liking me, forgiving trash such as myself... that's not hope, instead you're pitying me.

( but to be honest, he doesn't mind that at all. )

[ Everything he does is right. Yeah. It's that sort of belief he has to keep in his heart, to allow him to keep going no matter what anybody thinks or says.

It's hard to keep in mind when he's getting his nose pinched, but. ]

So?

[ Ugh, his voice comes out nasally, the only reason why he moves out of Komaeda's reach. ]

As long as I have hope, everything I do is right. That includes liking you.

( how can he say "thank you" to that, and if he thinks about it properly, that isn't possible. as much as komaeda pushes people away, and does it for their betterment than his own — there's always something that nags at him. he shouldn't let it linger anyway, it's feelings easily disposable, just like himself. )

It's that attitude why people are fond of you, Rokkun. ( this is his way of accepting it without properly saying he appreciates it, or that the attention is nice. wish i didn't have to write that komaeda's an attention whore, but when he's acting up, it really does show. well, it's because he's never had it before. )

So you should do your best to stay that way.

( he takes his hand back, dropping it down on the stove — marginally missing the burner, and that's because he's lucky. ) Even if it means disliking me... as long as you stay with that hope, I'll support you.

[ Hm. Just going to take Komaeda's hand and hold it so it's in no danger of being burned, because one second's good luck isn't the second second's. ]

Are you worried [ about me? no, ] about my hope, Nagito? You don't ever need to worry about that. A wild animal backed in a corner is in no position to lose hope: they will destroy themselves or everything around them, whatever comes first.

[ Watch him rampage when the time is right. His actions will be just. ]

( with his hands taken, he doesn't even try to pull them away, instead they'll just be cold to the touch, and maybe he'll let go himself. his voice lowers, barely above a whisper so it's only spoken between them. )

Who's backed you into a corner, Rokkun?

( it's the way he says it that catches komaeda's attention, but the other — in komaeda's eyes — never seemed to be the perfect model student. considering how the ultimate is, and the fact that rokkun stays around for so long unlike everyone else who is smart to stay away, yeah, it's telling. )

Who? Everybody.

[ He plays with Komaeda's hands, idly lacing their fingers, unlacing them, lacing them again. ]

A corner means my back's protected. It's not all bad.

( they're both cold, well the prosthetic is manmade cool while the other is just his low body temperature — he can only feel the male's warmth in one though. he slowly squeezes rokkun's hand with his better one to follow the pattern they have, but because it's not something he's familiar with, he stops after a few times. )

That's upsetting.

( upsetting? having high expectations probably does nothing for him anymore, but he was curious, he did want to see. if he has so much faith in rokkun's hope, he'd want to see it in action properly, but if the other is protected, rather than being put to a corner by someone else, that's not much komaeda can do about it. )

I wanted to see you fight for your hope, and how far you'd go to do so.

[ Upsetting? He supposes so. It'd be nice to be able to let loose and give it his all, and all the waiting can become frustrating for somebody with little patience. It's too bad that's what they need to have. ]

Then, watch me, okay? Don't take your eyes off me.

[ "Only have eyes for me" but hm, would that be going too far? Either way, the school year is still young. ]

In the meantime, you have to live. Here, have some food.

You know how to make me do that if you know me so well.

( if their experience together goes back so far, then it's his hope that komaeda looks for — that's what anyone is, anyway. before they're a person, their hope comes first, and how they handle that is how komaeda responds. as long as rokkun's hope is the way it is, he's unable to look away from him, he's basically bound by what he does and how he does it. )

...

( live? komaeda's lifespan is pretty short, so he doesn't think that's something he can do. parting his mouth, he actually waits for what's supposed to be fed to him. )

[ Here is a chopstick full of maggots. Say ahhhhhh— ]

( he goes aaaaaahhhh as much as you'd expect from someone sick.

with the maggots in his mouth, and the mixture of whatever they used as seasoning with them makes them not taste as bad. he raises a hand, using his thumb to slip between rokkun's lips to part his mouth open, and komaeda leans forward to press his lips against the other's own. the reason he's doing this is to share the food as well, and because he really has no shame. there! they had the first bite together. c: )

[ hello???? me going aaaaaaaaahh?????

He parts his lips in surprise when he feels Komaeda's thumb in his mouth, swallows hard when Komaeda presses his lips against his, leans forward despite himself, chasing with tongue and teeth to tug gently at Komaeda's bottom lip before he can pull away.

Tastes like maggots and hope. ]

( for komaeda this is just something simple as sharing food, and there's no more to offer, he doesn't think much past it as he pulls away. )

It's okay. ( the "rice", which is funny because he doesn't like that in general. he's normally someone who eats bread or certain meats, maybe he's more attuned to the meal of hope when the ultimate chef makes it. )

What did you think?

( he asks, looking at rokkun as he finally takes back his hand, and to wipe away at the bit of maggot at the corner of his mouth. komaeda's taking this pretty well, even if he still feels the sensation of rokkun's teeth along his bottom lip. i know komaeda pale as hell, but his lip won't a maggot. )

Hm...

[ He licks at his lips, considering. ... Picks up the chopsticks again to pick up another mound of maggots to poke at Komaeda's mouth. ]

I got distracted. Let me try again.

Weren't you the one that was hungry?

( isn't this how it all started? he'll bite one last time, leaning forward to bring the maggots into his mouth, and he'll lean back properly to savor the taste. now that he thinks about it, he enjoys bread more, so he'll probably go after this one. his teeth do bite down on the chopsticks so that rokkun can't take them away. )

Yeah.

[ All he can think about is how he could shove the chopsticks through Komaeda's throat with a solid smack of his hand, but those thoughts can sit there while he stands there holding the chopsticks until Komaeda decides to unclamp his jaws. ]

There's meat too. Have a bite of that.

( but he'd like that, so what's the thrill in ending his life? of course, he releases the chopsticks afterward. he plays the same game again, leaning forward to cup rokkun's chin with his free hand, his thumb pressing against his bottom lip.

komaeda doesn't lean in this time, but he's waiting to see if rokkun will part his mouth on his own. )

...?

[ ?? ???

He does open his mouth but he also breaks off a piece of hope meat as best he can with his peripheral vision and tries to guide it to Komaeda's mouth. If the first attempt he gets sauce all over Komaeda's cheek, that's fine, as long as it makes it to his mouth in the end. ]

( komaeda does the same, allowing the hope meat to enter the vicinity of his mouth, but that doesn't mean it'll stay there. in exchange, komaeda picks out the maggots and the meat he's been offered to stuff it right into rokkun's mouth. he made all this for rokkun, not for him, i'm crying this is sooo gross. )

...Aren't you the one who's hungry?

( before he gets any funny ideas, komaeda's going to step away as he stares at the food that they made. decent, but none of it is for him. when he's about to get a cloth to wash off his hands, he feels his stomach turn, but he tries to brush it off... )

Don't play with your food, Rokkun. You're a growing boy, after all...

[ I'm so tired nms

Rokkun sits down and fucking eats his maggots and hope meat. They're cooked? He won't die, maybe, that would be a mercy. ]

( i'm sobbing, you really deserve a reward. of what i put you through. i'm sorry ori, i promise he'll be normal one day.

but get this!! komaeda will sit down across from him and watch. good boy, eat all your "vegetables". c: )

[ one day watch Rokkun go on a rampage and slaughter half the school bc he's sick of Komaeda's shit ]

( if he does that then rokkun's hope was stronger than half the school, and THEN komaeda will have eyes only for him.

is this hope? )

[ It's hope. Time to plan Rokkun's imminent mass murderer arc, good night ]

npc contact.1

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