npc contact.1

[adsum]

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As the game progresses, different npc faculty and students will become available for threading. To request a thread, please comment below with the name of the npc and the ic date in the subject header. Threads may be cut short due to mod availability, so please have a reason in mind for the interaction.

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[adsum]

I don't want you to lose too much of yourself.

[ ... ]

Why don't you like my rocks?

[ okay, so real talk, ]

[commences]

What's too much of myself?

( well he knows he can't get the death one... but everything else? )

They're part of the case, so it'd do no good to have too many floating around.

[adsum]

If you can't hear, how are you going to listen to me? If you can't see, how are you supposed to watch me? If you can't feel my hugs, they stop meaning anything. If you fall unconscious forever or you die, I'll be sad. That's too much.

[ "npc-kun what about everybody else" fuck them
unless you're Amami or Helena or somebody they like ]

[commences]

...You aren't meant to care about me that much.

( he says that, but it's a full list, one that makes komaeda a little uncomfortable... his life doesn't mean that much, or what he tells himself. each of those totems have a consequence, but they would help him in different ways, and part of him is curious... whether if he takes one, will it be the end for him, he's never faced death proper — well, that's a lie, considering where they are. )

Hm... ( he gets onto his knees, i don't know how they're positioned, but he'll scuttle over with his arms open, wrapping them around npc-kun and rocks them from left to right. )

How do I assist hope if I don't sacrifice pieces of myself for it...

( he hugs a little tighter, his attempt to soothe the other. )

[adsum]

[ Mm. They don't mean to care about people so much either, burying their face against Komaeda's chest and holding on tight to the back of his jacket, trying to give him the best hug they can muster, because someday, he won't be here anymore, he won't be able to feel their hugs or hear them laugh or watch them grow up.

And they'll be so sad. ]

...Be there for my hope. I want all of you there— not just your words, or your memory. I want you to hold me tight and tell me it's going to be okay and be there for me when I need you. I want all the pieces that make up the whole.

[ They're not meant to care so much. But they can't help what they feel. ]

[commences]

( this world is unfair in its attempt to make komaeda care, because he doesn't mean to care either, that's why he doesn't have second thoughts when doing what he does. dying for hope, living for hope, working as hard as he can for a hopeful outcome — it's all too familiar to him, losing people, gaining people only to lose them again, but the senses... seems better than the person. he keeps his hand on the youth's back, leaving them in his embrace as he doesn't know when he should let go. )

I am there for your hope, but that's what's so great about it. The things people are willing to do in order to see the hope of others prosper... what if my hope is connected to those totems.

( what if it is... what could he learn from using it, how much is he giving up when he does it. it's not like his life is long anyway... cancer gave him a year and a half — around 17, but he's 23 now... and who knows, he doesn't think about it, doesn't know when his health will crash down on it's own... he's sure his luck is toying with him now. honestly, this isn't anything he thinks about given the state of his body. )

It's going to be okay, I'm... lucky... it won't do much to me. I'll be your guinea pig.

( and he smooths his hand up their back in his attempt to calm them down, it's hard to deal with though, hearing things like that... it's like he shouldn't even answer to it. that npc-kun can't mean him when there's others — amami, helena, whoever they like — that could take up his space. even with that said, he holds onto the hug, not realizing that he's doing so. )

[adsum]

[ He should never let go, and even if he were to try, npc-kun wouldn't let him— because they're also stubborn, messy, desperately holding onto anything they can get their hands on before it's torn out of their grasp. ]

No.

[ The grip on the back of his jacket tightens, then loosens, their body feeling heavier on his. ]

Sacrificing yourself only inspires hope when there is no other choice. You aren't cornered yet. There are so many options... so many people that are fighting real hard, there's no way you can't see it. If you do this now— if you buy a totem from me— your losses would be meaningless.

[commences]

( i could kill you for that sentence you made me read. )

I'm pretty useless when it comes down to it...

( all he has is a talent that keeps him... alive, he guesses, and who knows what else it has to offer him — maybe it's helped along the way at the beginning of the year to give them this hopeful situation they're in now. he doesn't try and pull away, he stays in that desperate grasp of theirs, knowing there's no reason to let them go. )

Someone ordinarily boring as me, it's why I'm willing to use your totems... ah, but after a year...

( he's only a first year, so everything's against him if he uses it now. ) I'm giving up everything, but that doesn't sound scary... so why are you scared? Don't you want me to fight with them too?

[adsum]

[ You could

They pout but he can't see, expression hidden and no way to show him unless they let go, and the need to hang on wins out. ]

Is that the only way you can fight with them?

[commences]

( looks up, closes my eyes. aratas................................mess...................... )

You should tell me, is your totems the only way?

( he'll be giving up his next year, lost to whatever consequence comes from every totem.

...

... )

Sell all of them to me, and then... whatever wins out, a gamble.

[adsum]

No.

[ Their answer to both. ]

You haven't convinced me.

[commences]

To turn away your customer... how cruel.

( to convince them, hm... )

Why not let me convince you on the one that I want, you should tell me what they do.

[adsum]

If you can convince me.

[ But he can't, there's no way, they believe in their stubbornness. ]

[commences]

I want the snake totem.

( he can convince, he got this. )

[adsum]

Why?

[ Give them good reasons. ]

[commences]

I'm interested in the shadows of those that I'm curious about... I love hope, and their shadows are no different.

( ... )

The expressions they make in that world now, they seem to be in pain... it breaks my heart to see such a thing.

( if only he meant it. ) I can't do anything if my fingers phase through them...

[adsum]

Why does it have to be you?

[ He can be noble all he wants, npc-kun doesn't care. It has to be a "no other choice" reason, and as long as somebody else exists in this school that is capable, Komaeda does not have that reason. ]

[commences]

I'm not really that kind, to worry about those expressions, but... isn't it odd that I can see them? I want to investigate.

( he is the detective in his game, and he can't pull away from his curiosity. )

You'll have my will by the end of the year, it's not like I'll need it around then.

[adsum]

(cont)