adsum | npc contact.1

[ He smiles his rudeness, and doesn't take it back. ]

I'm surprised the boy has friends, that's all. But let's not talk about others in this space— I wouldn't want to breach my oath, and we are meant to focus on you today.

Would talking about Arata-senpai's family breach your OATH?

( Telling if true,

but he shrugs, continue after a little nibble of his chips and deciding he doesn't like the pepper flakes, actually, so they're getting put back on Arata-sensei's desk. )

The majority of my issues right now lie with other peoPLE. As you might exPECT, I've lost the admiration and trust of some of my PEERS, and hurt in particular ones I would've considered FRIENDS.

[ At least put them back in the bowl or—- god. okay. The counselor eats the desk chips. ]

And it feels unfair, does it? To be alienated by those who do not try to understand your position, your reason, your choice. Or do you believe they are in the right?

( Arata-sensei -10 respect points, what the fuck, the desk chips. )

It's a complicated isSUE. ( As most things are. ) On one HAND, most of them didn't try to understand what had happeNED, or they tossed aside the reasoning for it as merely an exCUSE. You would think after months HERE, with the strangest people and imps in their MIDST, they would be able to believe in something that seems a little strange to THEM.

( Natsume rests back in his beanbag, watching the counselor. )

On the other HAND, I'm not going to dismiss their feeLINGS. They're allowed to be as hurt as they WANT, for as long as they WANT... I'm certainly in no position to ask anything else of THEM. Not when I'd feel the same exact WAY. ( Not when he... has. And not that he's over any of that either, mind, so. ) But — yes, it's unFAIR. It's upsetTING.

I made friends with some of these peoPLE, or I thought that I DID. That they wouldn't even spare me anyTHING... ( That they'd let the implication of "you should have gotten stabbed first, and either died or had it be a death in active retaliation" runneth over...

...Natsume frowns, then shakes his head. ) It doesn't matTER. What's done is DONE. I've been properly scolDED, the number of friends I have now has gone back to the reasonable number of "I can count them on one HAND," and whatever happens will hapPEN. It's on them to forgive me or not; all I can do is do betTER.

( Because even if he makes amends or tries to, or even if he changes, that doesn't mean they have to accept it or forgive him or anything like that. And "doing better" is "trusting people," like Subaru more accurately told him to. To tell someone about something happening, rather than immediately going off and acting on his own — overthinking, overacting, overachieving. His three favorite over-s. )

How long have you been a counselor at this SCHOOL? ( ... ) I like trading informaTION, and I consider my answer to have been a good trade for your credenTIALS.

( that isn't how this works and these two things aren't equal anyway but whatever. )

[ Natsume is a therapist's dream. He listens intently nodding to himself, but— the question makes him laugh, deep and throaty. ]

That isn't how this works.

[ But Natsume did make him laugh, and more than that, already seems to have his mind set on his feelings and those of others. ]

I've been here a very long time. I am very fond of this school, this job, my students... By the time they graduate, most have spoken to me at least once, and I am blessed with a job that lets me intimately know my students.

( There are many, many pros to being on the good side of people, and while he's typically anti-authoritarian, he can make exceptions for the sake of learning. Natsume laces his fingers in front of him, head tilting. )

And I was only extended the invitation after murDER... ( So most students kill, for one reason or another. ) Does that mean there are students who don't make an attempt on someone else and still manage to graduATE?

( If there is any way he can get Stephanie out of here without her having to bloody her hands at all... )

Yes, of course. I remember a full graduating class without a single loss of life, once. I'm under the impression that is supposed to be the norm in most educational facilities...

[ Imagine, a Yogen without murder... It's actually easy to imagine. But sometimes, things happen. ]

Murder is a choice... even when it feels like you have none. It was your choice.

People just happen to make that choice more often than not HERE.

( ...But why? His seniors graduated without spilling any real blood; he, too, is going to graduate without doing so — or he would have, in Yumenosaki. Why is it different here?

The rules, maybe? Last year, the rules only let one person graduate; the rules are different this year, apparently. If they change every time power shifts to someone new, then it's possible there was at least one year where everything was just...

Normal.

That would've been nice. )

...It is the norm for most education faciliTIES. This school's just — ( Wrong? ) UniQUE.

( A nicer word. )

What year was THAT?

1968, in the middle of an influenza pandemic... Our class size was relatively small that year. Perhaps that contributed.

[ Still! No loss of life. Take that, world. A win for Yogen. ]

( A win for Yogen. )

Were there any special conditions for that YEAR? I know of the one for last year's graduaTION.

( "Know of" is a nice neutral term, straddling between "heard" and "remember". )

Graduation is awarded for those who work hard and do everything they can to achieve their goals. Rather than conditions... it's the people who change from year to year. Even one person can make all the difference between how things would otherwise have turned out.

( Hm. )

Do you have your eye on any potential fate-changing stuDENTS, Arata-sensei?

Of course I have my favorites. But I won't name names.

Afraid they'll be taken OUT?

[ He laughs. ]

My words won't paint any larger target on their backs than they already have. Students such as these, they have many people who wish to take them out, but just as many who wish to protect them. What happens will happen.

Like Komaeda-san, you MEAN.

( Like, as stupid as it is, he does, by some miracle, have people who like him and want to see him not die. Not that he can so easily anyway, which is frustrating in itself. )

But we're not supposed to talk about other students, RIGHT? ( (: ) My apoloGIES.

( he's not sorry tho he's never sorryyyyyyy )

[ There's a smile that'll have to stand in for confirmation, because he's not supposed to name names. ]

There are others. [ "too" is implied, doesn't need to be said ]

I am hopeful for you as well, Sakasaki. You have already shaken fate.

( ...He'd expect his actions to have some sort of effect, yeah, but to that extent? )

What do you mean by THAT?

Do you not think so? Every person's actions makes ripples, each ripple touches those nearby and irreversibly affects them. Your actions were not insignificant.

[ Maybe fate won't veer wildly off course after what happened, but shaken? Yes. ]

I'd be happier about the idea if it were a positive ripPLE.

( What good came out of... Well, certain information people may or may not believe, he guesses.

Actually. This has been bothering him slightly, but now that he thinks about it. )

How much do you know about what hapPENED?

Who says it's not?

[ Good things came out of it! Not for Natsume, but, still. ]

How much I know is irrelevant. In counseling, I wish to hear events from my students' point of view. Your version of the tale is what affects you, not the objective truth.

( but mr counselor sir it matters to him..... )

And is the objective truth generally different from a student's point of VIEW, or do they often match UP? ( ... ) And why not offer grief counseling to those affected by the lose of those they LIKED? Kawai-san could benefit from IT.

...Grief is best processed with those you are close to. Do you really believe Kawai would accept words of comfort from somebody like me?

[ The Counselor. Faculty member. Stranger. Enemy of the state. ]

Most people are resistant to talking about their vulnerabilities, and grief is when they are at their most vulnerable.

...You aren't good with social sciences anyWAY, so I suppose you wouldn't be very good at it regardLESS.

( :/ )

But back to the objective TRUTH. Do you believe me if I tell you I was poSSESSED for three of those murDERS, or do you think that was just what I think haPPENED?

Edited 2021-07-08 20:16 (UTC)

If that is your belief, I believe you.

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