...No, but that's because he doesn't know if living that way is what culminated in a death—but if he's here, and if being "here" means being "dead," then something in the way he lived must have contributed to it. Natsume presses his lips together, covers his tallies with a hand without thinking about it. His shoulders are one tight, tense line, and he can't seem to shake it. )
"How it was" is that I was aLIVE, working to better my seniors' names at SCHOOL, working to provide a perfect stage for my uNIT, working to make the tiny, weak agency we've signed onTO, that we control thanks to Senpai's manageMENT, into one that can rival the others under Ensemble Square's banNER. But if I died in the middle of doing all of THAT, if any of that contributed to my being HERE, then—
( Would he?
The answer is stuck in his throat. There's so much good in all of that. So much for everyone, for Sora, for himself. It isn't just about him when it comes to what he's doing at home: it's manipulative and greedy but it's for the sake of other people. Maybe not what amounts to the revision of history at school, though, he's aware that's selfish but even his seniors deserved to be celebrated instead of recorded as monsters—
He pushes past it. )
I'd have TO. ( Natsume guesses it isn't a matter of what he wants; it's what he needs to do. He didn't give up his eyesight because he wanted to, no more than he killed someone and intended to hide it because he wanted to, no more than he's played nice with people he'd otherwise detest, no more than... ) But that'd depend entirely on if I'd know about what happens after dying if I'm able to reTURN, or if I knew exactly what caused IT. If I forget everything HERE, everyone HERE, or I'm unable to learn the truth of what hapPENED, then I'm liable to make the same mistakes that lead me to THIS.
And then it'd just rePEAT, over and oVER. ( To drown in the futility of it all. ) ...Is that an acceptable TAKE, Maya?
no subject
...No, but that's because he doesn't know if living that way is what culminated in a death—but if he's here, and if being "here" means being "dead," then something in the way he lived must have contributed to it. Natsume presses his lips together, covers his tallies with a hand without thinking about it. His shoulders are one tight, tense line, and he can't seem to shake it. )
"How it was" is that I was aLIVE, working to better my seniors' names at SCHOOL, working to provide a perfect stage for my uNIT, working to make the tiny, weak agency we've signed onTO, that we control thanks to Senpai's manageMENT, into one that can rival the others under Ensemble Square's banNER. But if I died in the middle of doing all of THAT, if any of that contributed to my being HERE, then—
( Would he?
The answer is stuck in his throat. There's so much good in all of that. So much for everyone, for Sora, for himself. It isn't just about him when it comes to what he's doing at home: it's manipulative and greedy but it's for the sake of other people. Maybe not what amounts to the revision of history at school, though, he's aware that's selfish but even his seniors deserved to be celebrated instead of recorded as monsters—
He pushes past it. )
I'd have TO. ( Natsume guesses it isn't a matter of what he wants; it's what he needs to do. He didn't give up his eyesight because he wanted to, no more than he killed someone and intended to hide it because he wanted to, no more than he's played nice with people he'd otherwise detest, no more than... ) But that'd depend entirely on if I'd know about what happens after dying if I'm able to reTURN, or if I knew exactly what caused IT. If I forget everything HERE, everyone HERE, or I'm unable to learn the truth of what hapPENED, then I'm liable to make the same mistakes that lead me to THIS.
And then it'd just rePEAT, over and oVER. ( To drown in the futility of it all. ) ...Is that an acceptable TAKE, Maya?