( as komaeda searches for the chisels, his hands pushing through papers, a light hiss when his pinky hits against something rough, and he doesn't move his arm much from the pain. though, nothing must hurt as much as this does for the other.
it's hypocritical for komaeda to stand here, to say anything like this to rokkun, to think he has any right when he himself has his own difficulties he can't overcome. an ultimate himself, and yet he hates his entire existence despite loving a group that shares a title with him. he can't even expose himself to others without a smile, he's unable to cry properly because what's being sad when his entire life is depressing, what is crying if it's not just for hope — it's always been like that, the way he's shed his tears.
yet, he won't admit it to himself, and perhaps this is unfair, considering when komaeda lived in world of no talent, no hope, and he was a normal individual; he was happier there. he had friends, he counted on others, and they depended on him — they appreciated his company, all because of a world where he threw away hope for other's happiness. he would never do that, he can't subject himself to a world that disgusting, it bothers him so much it feels painful — at his world destroyed, he had made sure that no one saw what he dreamt, the only place he felt safe from the shock of his death.
in a way, rokuro's memory is a place where komaeda would understand that he wouldn't want anyone to see, but it was looked upon — they invaded a personal space. once komaeda pushes himself away from his search, unsuccessful it seems, he digs his hands into the pockets of his attire, and he leans forward to to look up from where the other had turned his head. )
You have plenty to rely on, you should hold onto what you have before it's gone forever. ( ...
he wishes he could understand those words for himself, but he gives this advice the best way he can. ) There's always a test run, Rokkun, you're desperate, add it to what you know best.
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it's hypocritical for komaeda to stand here, to say anything like this to rokkun, to think he has any right when he himself has his own difficulties he can't overcome. an ultimate himself, and yet he hates his entire existence despite loving a group that shares a title with him. he can't even expose himself to others without a smile, he's unable to cry properly because what's being sad when his entire life is depressing, what is crying if it's not just for hope — it's always been like that, the way he's shed his tears.
yet, he won't admit it to himself, and perhaps this is unfair, considering when komaeda lived in world of no talent, no hope, and he was a normal individual; he was happier there. he had friends, he counted on others, and they depended on him — they appreciated his company, all because of a world where he threw away hope for other's happiness. he would never do that, he can't subject himself to a world that disgusting, it bothers him so much it feels painful — at his world destroyed, he had made sure that no one saw what he dreamt, the only place he felt safe from the shock of his death.
in a way, rokuro's memory is a place where komaeda would understand that he wouldn't want anyone to see, but it was looked upon — they invaded a personal space. once komaeda pushes himself away from his search, unsuccessful it seems, he digs his hands into the pockets of his attire, and he leans forward to to look up from where the other had turned his head. )
You have plenty to rely on, you should hold onto what you have before it's gone forever. ( ...
he wishes he could understand those words for himself, but he gives this advice the best way he can. ) There's always a test run, Rokkun, you're desperate, add it to what you know best.